Do You Know " THE CODE ? "

It seems that a few weeks ago, "The Queen," (the other one - who lives in England) revamped her website. That prompted a flurry of emails to "This Queen," from people wondering if I had any plans to revamp my website. This may surprise some of you, but I actually do have rather majestic plans to revamp my website! (Although... to be truthful, my plans are for someone else to revamp it for me!)

You see, while we queens do value technology and all the wonderful things it can do for us, we prefer to have a royal IT department handle all of those details for us. Then, we can focus our attention and energy on what we do best, which is using our majesty to be a source of light, hope and encouragement in the world. I suppose The Queen of England has a better IT department than I do, but I am delighted to say that is all about to change!

All of this came about when the person who originally designed my website, moved on to better things. I decided to take my time searching for the right person to replace him, because I am a big believer in divine timing. I knew that if I held to the vision of what I wanted to create, I would be in the right place, at the right time, to attract the right team. Even though this process doesn't always happen in the time frame that I would like, it is still the only way I can live my life.

Part of my vision required that I focus most of my attention on writing, which I have done for the last two years. Since my website worked well enough for my purposes, I did what I wanted to do, which was to write. Achieving that goal required that I spend a great deal of time thinking and reflecting, which led me on a journey deep inside of me. Spending time promoting myself and my work would have required a much more external journey and a great deal of activity and attention placed on the world outside of me.

While I actually enjoy both of those aspects of life, my observations of nature have taught me to value the different seasons we go through in our lives, and you can only experience one of them at a time. It feels as if I am now emerging from a very long winter in which a lot of things had to die off, so that I could give birth to a new season of spring.

I actually like winter (both in life and in nature). I appreciate the stillness, the stark beauty and the simplicity of it all. I also like that winter requires us to go inside (literally and metaphorically). However, I have learned that even in the dead of winter, there is a lot of important activity that is happening beneath the surface which is what enables Spring to arrive.

As I approach the season of Spring, evidence of new life is sprouting up all around me. The people and resources I sought to publish my books, promote my services and produce the projects I have been working on, are starting to appear from every direction. Things are unfolding in such a perfect manner that can only be accounted for by divine order and divine timing.

However, in my initial search to find someone to assist me with my website, I was surprised to discover that many of them didn't know "the code." As you may know, I would rather clean a public restroom than focus my attention on understanding how anything electronic or technological works. So, to be honest, I lost interest in finding someone to help me. I surrendered and let go of figuring it all out, because I knew my real task was to write.

I have also practiced what I preach long enough to know that when I honor what my soul wants to do and follow what brings me joy, then I will attract whatever I need to take the next step, and that is exactly what has happened to me!

That experience did made me think about all "the codes" that we live by in our lives. We have access codes, security codes, dress codes, moral codes, honor codes, zip codes, area codes, tax codes, codes of conduct and even a genetic code.

When I realized how much these codes impact every area of our life I decided to look up the word "code," in the dictionary, and it has several definitions. One definition is "A systematic collection of regulations and rules of procedure or conduct." Another definition is " A system of symbols, letters, or words given certain arbitrary meanings, used for transmitting messages and instructions.

I decided that our belief systems are very much like "a code." They are the rules of procedure and conduct that we have collected through the years, which we give meaning to. Our belief systems are the messages we transmit which instruct the Universe on what to deliver back into our experience. Some of these codes are secret, in that they are unconscious. In fact, most people are not even aware of the belief systems they have which they are broadcasting out into the Universe.

If you want to connect with the true source of your power, you have to become aware of your belief systems. They hold the key to unlocking "the code" that is buried deep inside of you. There is more to the process of manifestation than focusing on what you want. You have to examine the belief systems you have. They determine what you believe is possible and what you believe you deserve, which determines what you create and manifest.

Here is something useful to remember. We live in a universe of creative and magnetic energy, and that is how your belief systems have the ability to radiate signals out into the universe and magnetically attract more of them back into your experience. Your belief systems have enormous magnetic power which is why they are maintained over time.

Think about how you feel when you are attracted to someone or something, it seems to have a power over you, and it does! However that is only true because you give it your attention. When you stop focusing on anything, it loses its attraction. ( That is why many relationships end because two people are no longer focusing on what attracted them to each other in the first place).

You can do the same thing and end the relationship and attraction you once had to faulty belief systems that are not serving you well ( once you know what they are) Then, you can begin to place your attention on new and different thoughts, which over time, will become a new belief system that is compatible with what you desire.

Everything you create in life is a ratio of "what you think and desire" over what "you believe is possible." (Mind over matter). Since your belief systems are the messages and instructions that you are broadcasting and therefore receiving back into your experience, it is essential to do the inner work of discovering what it is that you believe about every area of your life. Then you will have the access code you need to succeed in the manner in which you desire.

I don't think there has ever been a more important time to learn how to do this for yourself, because there is so much fear in our society today. The uncertainty of our future is causing many people to focus on their fear, causing its sphere of influence to grow.

You have to take responsibility for your life. Your every thought, word and deed has creative power, and whatever you focus your attention on, you create more of in the world. Only you can think and feel for yourself. No one else has the power to do that for you.

Yet, we live in a world that turns to sources of power outside of us, to show us the way, and that does not work. In fact, you are seeing the evidence of this in our economy. We have reached the limits of what external power and action can do to correct this present situation. This is requiring us to accept once and for all, that we cannot turn to outside sources of power and expect them to take care of us, rescue us, or even lead us. They can't!

Even though I am inspired by the new leadership in this country, no one person (or team of people) is responsible for your life and your future. They don't even have as much influence over your life as you might imagine. What you think, feel and focus on is like the genetic code that determines your very existence. Only you have access to that, and it doesn't have anything to do with what the leadership of this country is doing ( or not doing). You determine your future experience.

I hope this doesn't sound disparaging or negative because I sincerely appreciate President Obama for his ability to give people hope. I also grew up in Wilmington, Delaware where Vice- President Biden was our senator and I went to high school with his son Beau. I don't have many memories of Mr. Biden as a politician, but I did know him as "the father" of a friend in my class.

In my own "code" that I live by, I measure a man's character by what kind of father he is to his children, or how he fathers and mentors those around him. We need positive expressions of masculine power right now, and my memories of Mr. Biden were that he was a very devoted father to his children and a constant presence in their life. He took the train back to Wilmington every night to be at home with his family, and his sons admired and respected him. So, I am comforted by the idea that we have placed two men in leadership positions who will "think like fathers," and "value our future generations" in their decision making process.

However, I believe that Mr. Biden has something else to offer this country, that many may not be aware of. Many years ago, he experienced a devastating tragedy when his first wife and daughter were killed in a car accident and both of his sons were injured. Having to confront that kind of pain and loss, has the potential to annhilate you, and it is an experience that many would not recover from.

Despite the fact that his life was completely shattered, Mr. Biden had to keep going because he had two small boys to raise. He went on to heal and love again, and continued his life of public service. Regardless of what you might think of his politics, I believe what he took from that deeply painful and devastating experience, is of great value and benefit to our country today.

Vice President Biden knows the journey that many are facing right now. It doesn't matter what kind of pain that you are experiencing. When you encounter loss, fear and a lack of certainty as to how to proceed (or even survive), you will be faced with a dark night of the soul.

That is what our country is facing right now, and like every dark night (or period in history) it will fade and the light will reemerge. That is the one constant in our universe and thankfully, humanity has very little influence over this. However, when you are in the middle of a dark night of the soul, it does help to have those in front of you who have been where you are, and have moved out into the light again.

When you are in the middle of something like losing a loved one, your job, your home, your savings, or even your sense of security about the future, it is indeed scary. In the middle this process, you probably won't believe that you are capable of getting through it, or that you even want to. Having faced all of those situations, what I can tell you is that you simply must reach for the light and follow it, and eventually it will be restored. You will be helped along the way by many different sources of light, if you are willing to look for them.

Then you will take what you have learned about who you and what you are capable of, and use it to help others navigate through the winter, or dark night of the soul that they are experiencing. You will find a purpose greater than your pain. While you may not believe this right now, you will actually come to appreciate your dark moments for what you learned as a result of them. That will become one of your greatest gifts to offer the world.

Weathering a dark night of the soul also gives you compassion for others. That is an important attribute to have when making decisions, because every decision you make has consequences in the world around you. I think that a sense of compassion is something the leadership of this new administration has to offer, irrespective of its policies and what it is actually capable of achieving. That being said, I still believe that your source of power does not come from your government, your job, your savings or anything else you are looking toward, in the hopes it will give you a sense of security and safety.

Your source of power comes from using the energy of your thoughts and emotions to connect with the energy of The Divine, and allowing that source of power to flow to you and through you. That is an entirely inside job and it has nothing to do with the leadership of this country, an economic stimulus package, or what is happening in the housing market. ( As hard as that is to believe sometimes).

It all comes back to "the code" that is running your life and determining what you believe is possible. If you want to feel optimistic about your future and what is available to you, you have to start examining what you think and feel about every area of your life. That means reviewing everything your parents, grandparents, teachers and caretakers, believed about the government, power, money, relationships, health and spirituality.

Why? Because those belief systems are running your life, whether you know or not, and they have far more influence over you then what is happening in our economy today. If you are worried about the economic conditions in this country, you have to examine what you personally think, feel and believe about money and the people who have money.

You may want to ask yourself the following questions. What does being wealthy mean to you? What does being rich mean to you? Are being wealthy and rich the same thing? Can you be rich and spiritual at the same time? In the United States, many people believe that "Money is power," do you believe that is true? Do you like people who have money? When you hear about someone who made a lot of money, how does that make you feel? Are you excited and happy for this person, or do you feel competitive and jealous? Do you think people who have money should help others who don't? Do you think you have to work hard and struggle to make money? Do you think you should save your money for a rainy day?

You have to sort out what you believe about all of this because it is the code you are broadcasting out into the universe. You learned most of this code in your childhood and adolescence from your parents, grandparents, teachers and caretakers. In order to sort out what you believe, you have to sort out what they believed, because most likely they taught you to believe it too.

I had an interesting conversation about this with my friend Emily, who is nine years old. We went shopping a few weeks ago, and Emily pointed to my sweater which I had wrapped around my shoulders, and said to me "That is how "rich" people dress!" I responded very casually "Really?" I asked, "You can tell whether or not someone is rich by how they dress?"

I was curious as to how Emily had formed this opinion, because it wouldn't be anything her mother (who is a good friend of mine) would ever say (or imply) to her. We chatted about her observation for a while, and I tried my best to introduce the idea that there are many ways you can be "rich" and having money is only part of that.

As this conversation progressed, I realized that my favorite Future Queen knew far more about who she is on the inside and what she is capable of achieving, than most adults do. Emily renewed my hope and excitement about our future and my positive expectations for what her generation and others will create. I was happy to discover that I didn't have to delve any further into this topic with her. So, we finished having tea, and then spent the rest of the afternoon trying on fabulous jewels (which we Queens and Future Queens do enjoy)!

I actually wrap a sweater around my shoulders almost every day in Florida, because the air conditioning in most places is freezing. You need to carry a jacket or sweater with you at all times, or be very uncomfortable. However... Emily was accurate in her assessment that our "dress codes" and the way we present ourselves to the world, usually have far more to do with how we want to perceived, than who we really are on the inside. I repeatedly learned this lesson growing up in Wilmington, Delaware.

Wilmington has a very affluent segment of society, that has its own "code," and I was very aware of this code, even though I didn't live in the world that followed it. Growing up in Wilmington, I was surrounded by many families who were very wealthy in the material sense, but in my opinion often lacked true wealth in other areas of their lives. I innately sensed that despite their vast financial resources, many of these families did not feel secure at all. Later on, I learned just how insecure many of them felt because of the societal rules and "code" they had to live up to.

The subtleties of "the code" frequently changed depending on the particular status and position of one family as it related to another. As an outsider, I was often confused by this, but eventually, I sorted it out. What it taught me is that something is only true when you believe and accept it as your truth. I learned growing up around that world that what you receive in life is due to what you believe that you deserve and are entitled to. I discovered that being "rich" was largely a state of mind.

In all fairness, my friend Emily was probably accurate in her assessment of my outfit. I am sure that my fashion sense today was influenced by the very preppy, blue blood "rich" world that I grew up in. That segment of society has a very distinct "dress code" and rules about acceptable fashion (or lack thereof).

Recently, I went to visit my Mother in Wilmington, and had an experience that reminded me of this. While I was doing a few errands for her, I ran into a friend of my parents at the post office. We chatted for a bit and then both of us went our separate ways. As I drove off, I found myself giggling and wondering to myself "Where else but in Wilmington (and perhaps parts of Connecticut, and Maine in the summer), can a grown man emerge from a Rolls Royce, wearing hot pink corduroy pants with green whales on them, and still command so much dignity and respect?"

Laughing as I drove back to my mother's house, I thought of all "the codes" we follow in our lives, in an attempt to either define who we are, or conform to who and what someone else wants us to be. Most of these "codes" we learned while we were in high school, and you might be surprised to discover just how much they are still operating in your life! Your probably had at least one experience in high school, where you became acutely aware that you were either overdressed or underdressed for some occasion, and you knew that you were violating "the dress code." I had several of these experiences when I was in high school...

Every year, I was invited to several formal balls that young women attended, as part of making their debut into society. These were elaborate affairs where all of the girls wore lovely dresses, and had nicknames like Muffy, Mindy, Darcy and Sue-Sue, while the boys who escorted them, had names like Trip, Chip, Woody and Cliff.

These dances were a complete nightmare for me. Not only did I violate "the dress code," but I violated the "social code" of these debutantes, because I was an outsider who had been temporarily invited into their world. These were excruciating evenings for me and I did my best to be completely invisible.

Much to my embarrassment, I had to arrive at these balls wearing my sister's hand-me-down dresses which were from the seventies, and I went to high school in the eighties (which was a very different period of fashion). I would beg my mother to let me skip these affairs but she insisted that I attend.

Her best advice was to say to me "Be a leader, not a follower..." and as you know, that does not goes over well in high school. Needless to say, those experiences were absolutely mortifying to me. I would spend most of the night seeking refuge in the restroom, with the nice Restroom Attendants, while sensing vague disapproval for being "too nice to the help."

I think that today it would easier for a young girl to hide out in the bathroom, and get through these types of experiences. She could use her phone to text friends, or at least get on the internet and play some games to pass the time. We didn't have any of those things when I was growing up, so I would spend the evening sitting on the couches in the restroom, while the attendants spoke in Spanish to one another (which I didn't know).

I was very much aware that once again, I was in a world I didn't fit in or know "the code" for, but at least these women smiled kindly at me. I would sit with them all night, eating the pretty colored mints that were served in a big silver bowl with a lace doily. Even though I missed all the formal dinners at these cotillions, I sure thought their mints were delicious!

I had several of these experiences in high school, until one day, "the code" changed and I realized it was actually acceptable to wear clothes from another decade. I invited a friend from school to go to a wedding with me, that was held at a beautiful country club. About an hour into the reception, he turned to me and said in a very puzzled tone, " I don't understand why the wealthiest one percent of this country can't afford to dress better. Why are all these old men wearing plaid plants that look like they came from the 1950's?"

I just laughed because it was too hard to explain all the subtle nuances of "the code" that world lived by. I also didn't have the words back then to explain to him that when you know who you are and what you think you deserve, there are certain accepted rules of society that no longer apply to you. In many ways, that was a very important lesson for me to learn, although for very different reasons....

Many of the children I grew up with were taught by their parents to believe that they deserved to have money. They were also taught to expect to have money. Here is what was interesting though. Despite having hundreds of millions of dollars, living in large estates with live-in staff, and owning private planes (which most people believe is what makes you "rich,")many of these families did not feel secure. In fact, my observation of them was that for the most part, they felt very insecure and disempowered.

They, like most, did not know that the true source of their power comes from The Divine and their connection to it. They mistakenly believed that their money (and the supposed power that gives you) came from the people they had inherited their money from, which left them in a tenuous position. This belief system is in direct conflict with the belief system that many people have, which is you must work hard to earn your money. Neither one of these belief systems is actually accurate, and many times your personal beliefs will conflict with societal beliefs.

Rich people also inherit faulty belief systems from their parents and grandparents just like every one else does. Children that grow up with inherited money often struggle with the prevailing societal belief that they don't deserve this money, since they have not worked hard, struggled or suffered for it. That is why many people feel guilty about having inherited money, and either they spend it excessively, or lose it.

None of those beliefs systems about who you are and where your source of power comes from are "true," but there is a lot of magnetic power surrounding them. That is what makes them so compelling and why so many people believe them. What most families (rich or otherwise) also do not know is that The Divine wants you to live an abundant life with grace and beauty. The Divine wants you to have enormous wealth and freedom in every area of your life. In fact that is your Divine Inheritance, which everyone is entitled to receive. Your real work is in learning to believe that, and accepting it as your truth.

I was fortunate to learn at a young age that the beliefs many people have like "Money gives you power" or that "Money keeps you safe" were illusions. Sometimes though, you still have to lose your home, your job, your life savings and whatever else you are clinging to for security, before you really believe and accept that as your truth. At least, that was the case for me.

Who you really are on the inside is a spark of The Divine. That means you are more than your job, your house, your money and your credit score. Right now, millions of people are having to learn that for themselves in our country. While I have a huge amount of compassion for what they are going through, I am also excited by the opportunities it is creating for all of us.

Our most "powerful financial institutions" (and paradigms) are crumbling. When the old breaks down and dies off (as in winter), it makes way for the new to be created. Some winters are longer and more brutal than others. What I have observed both in nature and in my own life, is that Spring eventually does arrive. It has to. That is what preserves the natural order and keeps everything growing, changing and evolving. Even a massive economic meltdown won't stop the seasons from turning. Even in nature, there are always "natural disasters" like hurricanes, sunamis and forest fires, which preserve and restore the natural balance that maintains our survival. Upheaval is part of change.

I don't think this is the end of our world. In fact, I think it is more of a beginning. Just like any new civilization that is developed, there are pioneers that explore new territory and lead the way for others to follow. Even though my mother's advice didn't help me very much in high school, it sure does apply to what we are experiencing in the world today. I think it is time to "Be a leader, not a follower!"

I was even more convinced of this today, after I spoke with one of the people who will build my new website. I realized that it didn't matter who knew "the code" for my present website, because we are building a brand new website which requires a "brand new code."

We have the same opportunity to create a brand new code in our world today that can define how we want to live with one another and our environment. Writing your own "code" is how you can "Be a leader, not a follower."

To me, leadership isn't about trying to control other peoples' behavior, by telling them what to do and passing laws that they must agree to follow. I believe that being a leader means following your heart, and honoring what your soul desires. It requires that you take an inner journey and sort out what you believe as "your truth," as compared to what others have expected from you and taught you to believe that is "their truth."

Then, you have to follow that path wherever it takes you. Often, you will be surprised to look behind you and find that others are following you. The natural consequence of following your heart and listening to what you think, feel and believe, is that you forge a pathway for others to do the same. To me, that is how you learn to "be a leader not a follower," and it is part of "the code" that I live my life by. It is also how you become the change you wish to see in the world.

Here is a royal secret that all Queens know (and remember, This Queen speaks from personal experience). What we have discovered throughout history is that all of the dark moments and challenges are actually "diamonds in the rough," and like every Queen, I love to acquire new jewels!

As you may know, a diamond is created out of carbon in the darkest recesses of our Earth, and it is the result of enormous heat and pressure. Even when you first discover a diamond, it doesn't look very pretty. In fact, it looks rather unimpressive and dull. You have to polish it (for a very long time) before you you can see the potential it has to become a sparkling jewel that has value.

Acquiring jewels requires an investment in your future, that you might not see right away. Each time you acquire a new jewel, it gets a little bit easier and you will feel a little less afraid. Eventually, if you keep following your heart and listening to your soul, you will have amassed quite an impressive (and beautiful) collection of gems.

Then one day, you will realize something that will bring you great joy. You will finally have acquired enough gems to make a lovely crown of jewels, which you can wear with great pride. You will accept and believe as your truth, that everything of beauty reflects the light that comes from inside of you, not outside of you.

When you honestly believe that, you have discovered your power, reclaimed your freedom and said Yes, to the Majesty inside of you. Once you have become "The Queen" you were born to be, you can write "your own code" for The Rules of the Kingdom over which you preside.

The following is "the code" that I wrote for my kingdom. Feel free to use it for yours, if you want to take the time to read it and then find it helpful in any way. If not, nothing would make "This Queen" happier than to know that you have chosen to write your own code, and live your own life. I hope it is filled with love, beauty, majesty and abundance, because that is what you truly deserve. It is your Divine Inheritance and I hope that you believe you are entitled to it!

Her Majesty's Royal Code

1. Stay connected to Nature.
Use the energy of nature as a perfect model for creating your world as you would like it to be. Observe its seasons and cycles and recognize that you have the same power abundance and majesty that nature does. Nature is completely confident in its ability to create and attract whatever it needs. If you live in alignment with nature and the natural order, you will be too.
2. Take care of yourself.
Eat as naturally and organically as possible, and drink plenty of water. You are an organic being. The more you absorb energy that vibrates at a higher, purer frequency, the more it can sustain and fuel you. If you can't do this, then try to eat foods without preservatives. Bless everything you eat, drink and put into your body. When you bring the energy of The Divine into anything, you automatically change its frequency, so that it can better fuel and sustain you.
3. Bring in The Divine
Something always happens when you pray. Learn to ask for help, and then use the energy of your thoughts and emotions to connect with the Energy of The Divine. The essence of who you really are is a spark of The Divine. This is The Source of your power.
4. Become the change you wish to see in the world.
It is not your job to change the world. Your task is to become the change you wish to see in the world. Look for the good, and focus on what you want to create and experience. Practice being a source of love because perfect love casts out fear. What you think, feel and focus on you create in the world, so pay attention to the frequencies you allow yourself to tune into.
5. Breathe, Meditate and Pray every day.
Spend at least ten minutes a day breathing deeply which is essential for decreasing stress and connecting with the essence of you really are, which is a spark of The Divine. Before you leave your home each morning, set your intention for the day. You often spend time preparing for how to interact with the world that is outside of you. It is even more important to pay attention to the energy of the world inside of you. Learn how to meditate every day for 20 minutes.
6. Be as Gentle, Kind and Compassionate as you can possibly be.
Sometimes this is easy to do, but other times it isn't. Do your best to be loving and kind because that has a ripple effect in the world around you. When you are dealing with someone who you think doesn't deserve your generosity and kindness, give it to him or her anyway. Giving people the benefit of the doubt helps you far more than it does them, because it keeps you in the flow of positive energy and enables you to maintain creative influence over your life.
7. Life is eternal. Accept your failures with grace.
The essence of who you are is a spark of the Divine, which means you are eternally evolving. Become more comfortable with death because everything dies so it can be reborn again. Your biggest failures are just temporary experiences, which enable you to succeed in a far greater manner because of what you learn from them. Learn to allow the darkness and appreciate it for the potential it has to create more light, not just in your life, but in the world around you.
8. Keep your well full.
Do your best to fuel yourself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. You are responsible for your life and the decisions that you make, not anyone else's. If you want to be a channel that the Divine can flow through, you must make sure to keep the channel clear of the energy of anger and fear. Every day do your best to listen to the guidance of your emotions and tune into the frequencies you want to receive back into your experience. You have to keep your well full, so that you have something to give. Otherwise you will become drained and then you are part of the problem not the solution.
8. Use your power wisely.
It is important to love, uplift and inspire others, but only go where you are called. (This can be very difficult to do). Remember that "No one hears the answer to a question that he or she hasn't asked." When you assert yourself into someone else experience, even with the best of intentions, you are being controlling not empowering. You can love someone even if you can't help them. If you have people in your life who need assistance and you can't help them, always leave them in the arms of The Divine. Learn to use your power in a way that is harmonious for you and the world around you.
9. Practice Unconditional Love.
You practice unconditional love when you allow all things to exist and don't push against or judge anyone, or anything. This takes practice but eventually, there will be nothing more important to you than feeling connected to The Divine and going with that flow, so you will be more willing to turn your attention to what you want, instead of what you don't.
10. Find the Humor.
Laughter really is the best medicine and sometimes, all you need to do is figure out a way to laugh. Laugher restores your connection to The Divine, which has a wonderful sense of humor. If you are serious and have a hard time finding the humor in life, then watch funny movies or read funny books. Hold the intention to attract funny people into your life so that you can laugh as much as possible. Comic relief can ease the most difficult and stressful situations.
11. Add to the Beauty and Delight in the world.
Look for the beauty and light in every person, place and situation that you encounter. Leave the world a more beautiful place from having lived in it. Plant flowers, and use your creativity and artistic talents to create a sacred space in your home that is beautiful to you. Spend time there meditating. Be a source of "Delight" and see the the world through the eyes of a child.
12. Learn to Appreciate.
If you do nothing else, learn the art of appreciation. This is the most powerful tool you have to shift your energy and restore your well-being. Every night before you go to bed, spend ten minutes writing down what you appreciate in your life. When you notice what you love and take pleasure in what is working well, you send those frequencies out into the universe and attract more of them back into your experience. Sometimes this is very hard to do. Do it anyway. Appreciate that you have hot water, electricity, gas to drive your car, or the fact that you can walk, talk, see and hear. There is always something you can appreciate, even if it is that you have a washer and a dryer, or a refrigerator or cellphone. Have you ever had a day when some of those things were not working properly? Look for something to appreciate and you will find it. Remember that when you feel pleasure you are perceiving something through the eyes of the The Divine.
13. Practice and "Begin Again."
Sometimes, despite doing your very best to Say Yes to Your Majesty, you find yourself feeling badly and then you are hard on yourself up for not doing a better job at practicing this. When you find yourself in that place, be gentle and kind. Have compassion and forgive yourself. Then be willing to Begin Again. This is a way of life, and like anything else, the more you practice the better get at it. If you find yourself in a place that you can't see how you could have possibly created, just be kind and be willing to start over and "Begin Again."

Delight The World...

I really hope that I am not becoming one of those annoying people who cries at everything, but I think it might be too late... Lately, it has been very warm in Florida and I have been writing outside. Last week, while I was writing in my back yard, a tiny ant caught my attention. It was pushing a huge crumb across my table that was about three times its size. (I like to watch ants while they are at work, and I appreciate that they live to serve The Queen!)

I stopped writing and watched this ant because he was intensely focused on his goal and appeared to have no concern for me. I was fascinated by his perseverance and I sat spellbound, just observing him for a very long time. When I realized that I had tears in my eyes from watching an ant, I was glad that I was writing at home so no one could see me!

I think what made me cry was my total awareness and complete awe that even the most tiny and seemingly insignificant creature, has a purpose and something to contribute. It reinforced my belief that small things do matter. Even though we might think of ants as annoying, or not particularly fascinating, they are part of the majesty and orchestration of the nature. The beauty of that frequently makes me cry.

Actually, I think what really made me cry was my awareness that beauty is everywhere if you are willing to look for it. It doesn't matter if it is the beauty of a flower, music, a piece of art, or the beauty of someone's soul, the more I experience any kind of beauty, the more I seem to cry! Then, when I am in a public place, I have to try and explain why I have tears in my eyes... and that is annoying (to me too!!)

Over the years, my best friend and I have come up with a way to describe the different tears we cry. There are sad tears, happy tears and then, there are beautiful tears. Recently, the two of us were talking and comparing notes on all of the concerts we went to over the holidays. She described a beautiful concert that she went to in a Cathedral in Boston, and I asked her "Did you cry?" She laughed and replied, "Of course!"

The funny thing is that my best friend is a nurse anesthetist and I used to be a social worker, so we both remain relatively unemotional in any drama that involves blood, tears and other body fluids... In fact, we take pride in our ability to stay poised, calm and focused (and even entertaining) even in the middle of extremely stressful circumstances. Yet, both of us will go to a concert and start to cry just listening to the orchestra play. We laughed at how sensitive we have become in that way, and how often this seems to happen to us these days.

I have decided that we cry beautiful tears, when we perceive something through the eyes of the Divine. I suppose that I cry beautiful tears the most when I am listening to music (any kind of music, not just the symphony). I think I inherited my appreciation of music and this ability to cry beautiful tears, from my mother. She is a gifted pianist and artist who made the beauty of music a big part of our life.

I am one of seven children, and my mother exposed the seven of us to many different types of music as we were growing up. Since I was the youngest, I was often my mother's companion during the day. Her creative abilities extended to many art forms, and she sewed most of our clothes. Many mornings, while everyone else was at school, I would sit with my mother and listen to the radio play classical music over the hum of her sewing machine. I think I experienced "The Mozart Effect" before I ever knew what it was.

Then, in the afternoons, I would sit on my blue Hoppity-Hop and listen to her records for hours. To this day, I still know every word from her favorite musicals, The Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, The King and I, and Oklahoma! By the time I was five years old, I could sit through an entire performance by The Philadelphia Orchestra, completely enthralled and without moving a muscle.

I thought about that when I went to the symphony before Christmas, and a tiny little girl crawled up into my lap. Her parents and my date were a bit upset by this, but after my initial surprise, I completely understood. She was very excited to see Santa Claus (I was too), and I had a much better view of him than she did.

I am not sure which one of us was more delighted when Santa came over to our row and handed us some presents!! My new little friend received an enormous candy cane, and I received some bright red jingle bells. Then, as if on cue, the spotlight shined upon us and gold sparkles floated down, covering us with shimmering faerie dust. It was definitely a magical moment in time, and I of course, cried beautiful tears....

That moment was the best gift I received this season. I was still delighted by it the following morning, which happened to be the Winter Solstice. Usually, I meditate each morning and then I light a candle, have a cup of tea, and spend a few more moments being still, before I begin my day. On the morning of the solstice, I sat sipping my tea, staring at the beauty of the lights on the Christmas tree and enjoying the Christmas carols that I was listening to. I felt very aware and appreciative of the eternal presence of light and beauty in our world, even on the darkest of days.

While the Northern Hemisphere does experience more darkness on the winter solstice, the light has not really been decreased. We just don't have access to it by the nature of our position and our proximity to it. The same is true about our connection to the light and good in the world. We limit our access to it by what we choose to focus on and connect with. Unlike the Earth's rotation around the sun and the tilt of its axis, this is actually something each one of has control of on a personal level.

Every year on the winter solstice, I renew my intention to be a source of light in the world, even if it can be difficult to do in darker moments. That is why I named my newsletter Delight. The word "Delight," means "of the light." When you feel "Delight" you are most likely perceiving something through the eyes and "the light" of The Divine...

I was reflecting on all of this when I glanced down and read the message on my teabag. Here is what it said. "Delight the world with kindness, grace and compassion." I am always amazed (and delighted) by the synchronicities that the Universe orchestrates on my behalf. I have to admit, this one moved me to tears, again. I marveled at the Divine timing of it all. The night before I had experienced a moment of pure delight and now, I was being reminded to "Delight the world"on the darkest day of the year.

Later that day, in another synchronistic moment, I pulled an Angel card from one of my favorite websites (www.innerlinks.com). Guess what card I pulled? DELIGHT! The message on the card was "Take an approach of childlike innocence and freshness. Bring pleasure and enchantment to each relationship, event and task of everyday life." I thought about that little girl and the innocence and freshness she awoke in me. That is usually what children inspire in us. We are enchanted by the pleasure they bring to everything they experience.

When I heard the Dalai Lama speak, the first thing I observed was his childlike purity and the humor and delight he radiated. The people that I am most drawn to often have that purity too. That sweet innocence and freshness is usually what we want to preserve in our children because they can be easily hurt and wounded with their profound sensitivity. Then, they learn to cover that pure side up and hide their light.

That's what "beautiful tears" are really about. They are the tears of joy you cry when you restore your awareness of the sensitivity, purity and delight inside of you, and you reconnect with your true nature. I have found that the more willing I am to open my heart and find that purity and delight inside of me, the more sensitive and vulnerable I become (and the more tears I cry).

It is true that the more sensitive and vulnerable you become, the more painful the dark moments in your life can feel. The good news is that the presence of darkness in your life creates the immediate potential for more light in your life too. So you need dark moments. They are a necessary component for expanding your light.

You have to learn to allow the dark moments of your life and not push against them. That means, in the dark times where you feel worried or afraid, you have to extend more kindness, grace and compassion to yourself, and not judge where you are, even if you don't like it. One way to do this is to learn to think of your emotions in terms of frequency.

In the world of energy, everything is vibrating, and the speed with which it vibrates is known as its frequency. The energy of your emotions lets you know what frequencies you are tuning into. The lighter and happier you feel, the more you are tuning into the presence of the Divine. The darker and sadder you feel, the farther away you are from tuning into the Divine. That is why you feel as if the Divine has abandoned you when you are sad and afraid.

This of course isn't true, but it feels that way because you are disconnected from your true nature, and that is the most painful feeling in the world. It actually hurts us not to connect to the energy and light of love because that is the essence of who we are. Yet, most people are so afraid of being hurt, that they won't let themselves feel love, which just creates a greater sense of darkness and fear in their life.

Most of us feel afraid of the dark because we can't see what is in front of us, and that unknown is scary. We want the light to show us the way and lead us to safety. I think the challenge is to learn to feel less afraid in the dark moments. You can begin by reminding yourself that it is part of the natural order for light to reemerge. Just like the winter solstice, the days get lighter after your darkest moment.

Your dark moments are actually what create more light in your life. If you can learn to somehow appreciate that potential, your fear will begin to dissipate, and an answer or solution will begin to emerge and show you the way.

What usually happens though, is that most people become even more fearful in the dark. They focus all of their attention on what they afraid of. This blocks their ability to see, reach and restore their connection to the light that is available to them.

You won't restore your connection to the light and love of the Divine if you feel worried and afraid, or when are being critical or judgmental. The frequency of the Divine is the energy of love, and it is a very different frequency from the energy of fear. You can't feel the energy of love and fear at the same time. It is like tuning into two different radio stations at the same time. You can't do it.

When you are stuck in the energy of fear, you need a bridge that will connect you back into the energy of love. When you extend compassion and kindness towards yourself, you create a state of grace. That becomes the bridge that restores your connection to the Divine and allows it to flow into your life. If you want to Delight the world outside of you, you must first learn to delight the world inside of you. That means learning to soothe yourself in dark moments.

Learning to soothe yourself is actually a bit more challenging that it may seem. Most people turn to substances and resources outside of them to soothe inner anxiety and fear. That usually ends up creating another problem that needs to be addressed over time.

It isn't easy to value learning to soothe yourself, in our competitive world that values being aggressive and strong, and views gentleness and kindness as a weakness or a flaw. Soothing yourself also requires a willingness to admit that you are in a place that you don't like. In our culture, with its relentless pursuit of immediate perfection, that is hard to do.

Most people don't want to risk being judged. If you feel ashamed, or if you are judging where you are and don't want anyone to know about it, your isolation and inability to admit that you need assistance will perpetuate and exacerbate your feelings of darkness and pain. If you are that unwilling to ask others to help you, then you really have to learn how to help soothe yourself into a better place, when you find yourself upset about something.

So, how do you learn to soothe yourself? Think about a small child who is scared and upset about something. You gently and kindly reassure him or her that everything is alright and going to get better. Then, you do your best to turn this child's attention away from the problem.

That is basically what you have to do as an adult, except it can be a little bit trickier. Most adults have many negative self-judgments and have been taught to believe that they deserve to suffer. Usually, small children have not learned this yet. They are more likely to expect that things should go well for them. They are also more willing to be distracted from their problem, reconnect with their true nature and focus on their ability to feel pleasure and delight.

Here is something that might help you value taking time to soothe yourself into a better place when you are feeling worried or afraid. Most of the time, when someone is afraid or very stressed, he or she reverts back to the behavior that is most familiar to him or her (which was usually learned in childhood).

That means that when you are afraid, you may be responding to some situation in a very childlike manner without even realizing it. Or, if you are angry, you may be responding as rebellious adolescent or teenager. As you may recall, neither of these responses are very effective strategies for getting what you want.

Most adults will do anything they can to avoid dealing with their fear and anger. They never learn to how to handle these emotions in a manner that is of benefit to them and the world around them. Haven't you ever been surprised by someone who normally appears to be very powerful and in control, and then he or she suddenly flies off the handle and behaves in a manner that seems immature and inappropriate? (a lot of high power CEO's come to mind....)

When you are afraid or anxious, you have to do your best to soothe yourself back into a place where you can restore your connection to the Divine. Then you have access to a Divine solution to whatever it is that is troubling you. That is the kind of power you want to connect with, and co create with.

Then, you can follow your Divine inspiration and guidance to be in the right place at the right time, and be equipped with the resources you need to handle anything you encounter. Soothing yourself and creating a bridge that restores your connection to the Divine, is a process that happens inside of you, not outside of you.

Most of the ways I soothe myself are pretty simple and don't require much effort. I love to meditate, write, create beauty, spend time in nature and exercise. If I am really stuck on something, I try to find the humor and something I can appreciate. Usually, the fastest and easiest way for me to soothe myself into a better place is to listen to music. I am frequently amazed when I turn on the radio in my car and hear the perfect song that makes me feel better, or gives me the answer to something I am thinking about.

In fact, this just happened to me last week. I was driving home and heard what I thought was an awful commercial for a "cosmetic clinic and spa." It made me sad just listening to it. The announcer asked the following questions... " Has another year gone by, and you still aren't "the best you can be?" Do you need firm perky breasts, a flat belly or a full head of hair?" Don't wait! Call us today so that you can finally "be your best" this year...."

When I heard that commercial, I thought to myself "He makes it sound like having those things is as easy as going to the store and picking up a bottle of salad dressing! At the very least, aren't those medical procedures?????"

I am by no means immune to the desire to look and feel my best. I also believe that you should think, feel or do whatever you want, regardless of any one else's judgments or opinions. So, if you think having any of those procedures will bring you joy, then I think you should have them.

What made me sad about that commercial was more the idea that those external things are going to make you "be the best you can be." When in fact, they just seem to fuel the idea that "there is something wrong with you." As long as you believe there is something wrong with you, then you will never feel free to discover who you really are and the true source of your power. That makes me sad...

So, here came my first opportunity of the year to soothe myself, and practice what I preach! I changed the radio station just in time to hear the beginning of the song by Jewel, called "Hands." It starts with the words "If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all OK." I have to admit that made my cry (happy and beautiful tears) because I felt like it was the Universe agreeing with me. I just love it when the Universe agrees with me! :):)

I like all the words to that song, especially the line that says "In the end, only kindness matters..." That is certainly what I have learned personally and professionally as a social worker. Having sat by many bedsides at the end of someone's life, I know firsthand that "In the end, only kindness matters."

It isn't how much money you made (or didn't make), how much you accomplished and what you might leave behind. Any regrets that anyone has (either the person dying or the family and friends who are gathered around) are always about the love he or she gave and received, and the importance of savoring every moment you have with the people you love.

It is easy to remember that love and kindness matter, when you are appreciating a moment of pure delight, wearing a fabulous black velvet outfit, holding an adorable little being who smells like candy canes and is quivering with excitement, and then gold sparkles magically float down from the heavens and cover you in their radiant glow.

It is hard to remember that love and kindness matter, when you are tired, angry, lonely or scared. It isn't easy to look for the light if you are unemployed, or have just lost a big portion of your life long savings. At those times in your life, it can seem almost impossible to find the light in a situation or even find the energy to be kind to yourself or someone else.

That is why I appreciated observing that ant at work the other day. He reminded me that small things do matter. Even the big events and circumstances that really get our attention (the ones we like and the ones we don't like) are the result of many small moments in time. Everything has a cumulative effect and no matter what you are facing and how overwhelming it can seem, the process of soothing yourself is always the same. It happens one moment at time, and you have to be willing to keep practicing it until you get some momentum.

Most of the ways you can "Delight the world" are very small and take very little effort. You can be encouraging, like my friend Muriel, who is is eighty-four years old and one of the biggest fans of my work. Muriel inspires me because she is always reading, learning and opening her mind to new ideas. She is also one of the most kind and gentle human beings I have known. Just hearing her voice soothes me. For years she has said to me "You are way ahead of your time, dear." There is something so comforting about the way she calls me "dear" that makes me cry happy tears. Speaking with my friend Muriel is always a delight.

Another small way you can "Delight the world," is to write thank-you notes. I hope I don't sound like Emily Post here, but people love to be appreciated. I learned this in way that actually surprised me. One night, I was helping a friend to clean up after a big party, and I was in her kitchen looking for a towel to dry some dishes. I opened a drawer and found a pile of thank-you notes that I had sent her over the years.

I was very touched by that because to be honest, my handwriting is so big and loopy, it is very hard to read. I try to keep my notes short, (believe it or not) so that people don't have to spend time trying to decipher what I have written (even I can't read my writing sometimes!) The point is that I didn't write anything very profound and yet, my friend treasured those silly little notes I sent her enough to keep them.

If you can't deal with writing thank-you notes, make the effort to remember someone's birthday. Your birthday has nothing to do with your age, it is about your light and presence in the world, and that is something to celebrate.

My mother is actually who taught me to value writing thank-you notes, remembering people's birthdays and most importantly, being kind to people and letting them know they matter and belong. None of these things take much effort, but the trick is to remember that you can't delight the world outside of you, until you delight the world inside of you. Then you have some light to give.

That is why learning to appreciate small things whenever you can, has value. The energy of appreciation helps you to keep your well full. Then, you can draw from it in difficult times, when you feel depleted and don't feel as capable (or as willing) to soothe yourself or anyone else.

That is actually another way listening to music serves me well. It reminds me to appreciate the simple fact that I can hear. When I was about ten years old, my mother began to lose her hearing. By the time I was twelve years old, she was completely deaf and could no longer hear music. Some days, her pain over not hearing is still tortuous.

Every once in a while, when I hear the music my mother loved, I feel guilty for the pleasure it brings me because I know how much she still longs to hear it. That guilt doesn't serve me very well, except that it reminds me to appreciate the things we often take for granted, like the fact that we can walk, talk, see and hear.

The pain of my mother's dark moments taught me the importance of acknowledging someone's presence (and light). You would be amazed at the cruelty and alienation she has experienced due to the insensitivity of the hearing world. Taking the time to speak to someone, even if takes a little bit of effort, is something anyone can do.

My mother never wanted to join the deaf world, and she never fit in the hearing world again. Being caught in that place illuminated for me the fundamental need we all have to know that we belong somewhere, and fit in. The most powerful way you can "Delight the world," is by taking the time to see and hear someone, in whatever form that takes. Be kind and appreciate the light he or she has to offer.

Every time I visit my mother I am reminded of this. The last time I saw her, she did something that made me cry happy, sad and beautiful tears, all at the same time. Despite being completely deaf for the last twenty-seven years, my mother can still remember what music sounds like in her mind. She can "play by ear" on the piano, even though she can't actually hear how it sounds.

While I was visiting, my mother went to her piano and played one of my favorite Christmas carols, Silent Night. As I listened to her play, I could not stop my tears from flowing. Then, she did something that made me cry even harder. My mother asked me, "Amy, What does that song sound like?" In that moment, words failed me. I couldn't describe the beauty of that music, and the joy and pain it stirred deep inside of me because my mother couldn't hear it with me.

That moment was another gift. Despite its great pain for both of us, it was a moment where I recognized and appreciated my mother's incredible brilliance, strength and beauty, as well as the indescribable gift being able to hear music is. Both are something I cherish and never want to take for granted.

I reminded myself of this a few days ago when I was feeling very sorry for myself. Normally, December and January are cooler here in Florida. I can turn off the air-conditioning, open my windows and get some fresh air. I can also wear some cute winter clothes which I love!

Lately, it has been over eighty degrees, which most people are very appreciative of. I am not. In fact, this unseasonable warmth just intensifies my longing to leave Florida, move near the mountains and have somewhat cooler temperatures. The other day I was hot, irritated and feeling guilty that my intention to "Delight the world" had gone out the window (literally!)

I tried everything I could think of to soothe myself. I reminded myself of how fortunate I am to spend most of my time in the little town of Winter Park, which is idyllic. It has brick lined streets, beautiful flower pots cascading with flowers, fabulous boutiques and restaurants, and a lake on every corner. Every day I go write at the Panera Bread on Park Avenue in Winter Park.

A few steps away from Panera Bread, is a park in the middle of the town which has a lovely rose garden in it. The town of Winter Park was designed by Connecticut developers years ago, and it actually does remind me of the New England towns I'm nostalgic for. Usually, just stopping in the rose garden and appreciating how pretty the area is, makes me feel better immediately.

None of that was working though, and that made me feel even more guilty, because I have so much to be appreciative of and all I could think was, "I just cannot live here one more day..." I didn't care how nice Winter Park is (and I really do love it), I was hot, irritated and wanted to see a mountain, or at least know that I could drive to one in a few hours.... I knew I needed to create a new train of thought and soothe myself into a better place inside of me. I also know that eventually, that process is what will lead me to what I think is a better place geographically outside of me...

When I returned home that evening, I saw what is usually one of my favorite catalogs to arrive in the mail. The Gardens Alive catalog (www.GardensAlive.com) is filled with all sorts of wonderful natural, organic products for your lawn and garden. Its arrival in winter, is usually a source of delight for me. I pour over it and learn about all the different things I can use in my garden in the spring and summer. I have been using many of their products for years, and just the pictures of their flower and vegetable gardens inspire me.

I was surprised to realize that seeing this catalog triggered a sense of despair inside of me. Just thinking about being in Florida for another summer made me cry, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel like looking at it. After I cried (sad tears) I did feel much better and then, my curiosity got the better of me.

As I flipped through the pages of that catalog, my mood did improve because it reminded me of a very funny memory of my garden in Mississippi. It also reminded me of the most fundamental principle in gardening. You plant a seed in the middle of darkness because that is what triggers its inherent capability to reach for the light. That process is what makes everything grow and eventually blossom...

Years ago, I discovered my green thumb and how much I enjoyed having a garden. It is a lot of work though, and I need help keeping up with it. For most people, "weeding" means spraying RoundUp, and I would prefer not to use toxic chemicals in my yard. If you have a desire to "Delight the world" and have compassion and kindness for our Earth and future generations, you might consider using a natural fertilizer (and many of the other products available in this catalog).

As you might imagine, living in Mississippi made it a bit difficult to find someone who was even willing to use organic products in my yard, and this was long before the Green movement had taken hold. I finally did find a wonderful woman named Faye, who was willing to put up with my "strange" lawn and garden products. She actually loved my yard and gardens as much as I did, and I really appreciated her assistance.

One Friday morning, I decided I would try a new fertilizer and Faye helped me to put it down. It didn't take us very long, and neither one of us thought very much about it... Later on that day, my boyfriend walked into our house and said to me, "Amy, WHAT is that smell?" I looked at him in surprise and responded innocently "What smell?" He looked horrified and said "It smells like the elephant ring at the circus!" Then, he proceeded to walk around the entire house and closed all of the windows.

At that time, we lived in a beautiful old Victorian house, which had about twenty-five windows in it. I had just spent the last twenty minutes opening all of them, because it was a beautiful spring day and I wanted the house to be filled with fresh air! So, to be honest, I was trying not to roll my eyes at my boyfriend. I thought he was being a tad bit dramatic.

Apparently, he wasn't! A few minutes later, the phone rang.... Faye called to say that when she arrived home, her husband said she smelled awful! In fact, he made her take all of her work clothes off and leave them in the garage! Both of us could not stop laughing about this, particularly since neither one of us seemed to notice any smell at all.... (Thankfully, I had already taken a shower and washed my clothes by the time my boyfriend got home. I had actually worn his shirt to work in the yard, which I never did tell him).

As luck would have it, that very same weekend, a young entrepreneurial couple decided to offer horse and buggy rides through the historic district (where we lived). I was hoping people would assume that the smell permeating our block was coming from that! One by one though, my neighbors commented on "that awful smell." Since I am a terrible liar, I had to confess "that awful smell" was coming my lawn, and it might be the new fertilizer I had used...

The next day, I did agree that is smelled a bit strong, but since elephants are one of my favorite animals and I love the elephant ring at the Circus, I still didn't think it smelled all that bad. After all, everyone knows what makes the best fertilizer... and it doesn't smell good!

I never lived that fertilizing incident down and it makes me laugh every time I think about it. The following Christmas, I sent my neighbors a catalog and offered to buy them a bag of fertilizer for the spring, but no one took me up on my offer! The following spring, I ended up using a new corn gluten meal fertilizer, (which is a derivative of corn starch) and we were able to keep the windows open, which everyone was happy about.

The arrival of that catalog this week, made me cry sad and happy tears. As with all things, it had the potential to make me feel good or bad, depending on what I chose to focus on. It also reminded me that the dark moments in of our lives are a bit like fertilizer. They may not look or feel very good, and we often think they stink!!!! Yet, they are precisely what enables us to seek the light, grow and blossom. Then, we can offer our beauty and majesty to the world for others to enjoy and benefit from.

I think having a desire to "Delight the world," is a bit like planting a seed. First you have to create the proper environment in which the seed of your desire can grow. Then you must fertilize it with kindness, grace and compassion, so that it can learn to seek the light. Along the way, you will probably have to water it with happy, sad and beautiful tears...

I received something else in the mail today, which also made me smile. It was from The Four Seasons, which is one of my favorite hotels. I think that their byline says it best of all...

"With the proper care, Delight will grow in any climate."

Everyone Has a Fairy Godmother!

With Thanksgiving approaching, I have a heightened sense of appreciation for many things about my life. In particular, I feel deep love for all the wonderful people who have helped me to Say Yes to My Majesty, even when it was difficult to do.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday and some of my happiest memories from childhood center around this day. Looking back on many of them, I can see that I have always wanted to be a Queen.

When I was a little girl, I was absolutely convinced that I was adopted. Despite having five older sisters who looked just like me, I was sure that I had been placed in my family by some strange twist of fate.

I just knew that I was supposed to have been born into royalty. In fact, I was so sure of this, that I frequently went outside to "sit and wait" for someone to arrive, take me back to my castle and restore my rightful heritage. I spent many hours of my childhood, sitting and waiting in our back yard....

I was never alone when I was doing this because my older sisters and I had several rabbits as pets, and they lived in a large hutch in our backyard. My first rabbit's name was Fluff Puff (I was six years old)! He actually turned out to be a male instead of a female, but we only discovered that when my sister's rabbit Mischief had baby bunnies... (I guess Mischief was aptly named).

My father, who could barely keep track of the names of his six daughters, could never remember Fluff Puff's name. He usually called him Huff Puff, or even worse Puff Huff. This confirmed my suspicions that I must be misplaced royalty, because even my rabbit didn't get the proper respect he deserved. Still, I was confident that Fluff Puff and I were destined for better things, and eventually the real Royal Family would arrive to take us home.

While we were waiting for this to happen, Fluff Puff had a little operation. I am sure that with seven children, a dog, a cat, two lizards and five rabbits, my father decided he had enough mouths to feed. So, Fluff Puff was taken to the vet to be "fixed," and we didn't have any more baby bunnies after that. I do realize that Fluff Puff wasn't the most dignified name for a male rabbit, but I never changed it.

Our rabbits were a big part of my childhood, mostly because their hutch required cleaning on a regular basis. We had a tall fence that surrounded our back yard, so while we cleaned their cage, we would "let the rabbits run." Since I was the youngest, my five older sisters usually dumped the chore of cleaning the rabbit cage on me.

This was just one of the many indignities I suffered, as a Future Queen growing up without her castle. It served me well though, because it gave me a chance to day dream and plan my future. I would let Fluff Puff and the rest of the gang out for a run. Then, after I cleaned their cage, I would join the rabbits as they basked in their freedom. I would lie down in the grass, stare up at the clouds and daydream about better days to come. I spent hours visualizing how my life would turn out.

Looking back, I think that is where my love and appreciation of nature began. Lying in the grass and feeling the rhythm of the earth around me, gave me a sense of safety and comfort. While I didn't know it at the time, I was using the beauty and majesty of nature as a way to connect to the infinite presence and power of the Divine.

I spent a great deal of time imagining who would finally arrive to bring Fluff Puff and I back to our proper kingdom. I was certain that I would be the only child who lived there, and there would be a elaborate, formal celebration to welcome our return. Surely no future Queen living in a proper castle would have to do something like clean a dirty rabbit cage....

Even though I believed in Fairy Godmothers back then, that was never who I imagined would come for me. In all of the books I read, Royal Couriers who were charged with important tasks like this, were always male...In my imagination, this emissary would be very tall (with dark hair) and very old (eighteen or so). However, instead of wearing a long cape with a royal crest, I imagined he would arrive wearing a tuxedo...

I'm not sure where that part of the fantasy came from, but I think it had something to do with the fact that my brother was twelve years older than me, (that seemed very old). He was also very tall (not really, but he seemed that way when I was six) and he had dark hair. Every year, my brother was coerced into wearing a tuxedo and going to several proms with one of my sisters' friends, so I think that is how I put all of that together.

Alas, somewhere along the way, I realized that my life was not going to turn out like a fairytale. Even though I was a Future Queen, it became apparent that no Royal Courier was coming to retrieve me. I reached the disappointing conclusion that it might be a while before I ever got to leave home....

When I finally did leave home, I learned another disillusioning life lesson. I discovered that you never really "leave home," because wherever you go, you bring "who you were at home" right along with you. (Despite the fact that so many people imagine otherwise).

No matter how "evolved and spiritual" you think you are, you will always be faced with a few moments that remind you of this. What life has taught me is that even in the moments that you wish you could leave behind you, there is usually someone who shows up to help you accept who you are, where you came from, and what you are truly capable of. At least that is has been the case for me.

These people show when you are in need of assistance and can appear out of nowhere, just like a Fairy Godmother. Even though my Royal Courier never arrived, I had many Fairy Godmothers who did. In my childhood fantasies, Fairy Godmothers were supposed to appear in a beautiful sequined dress, wear a sparkling crown of jewels, and of course, carry a magic wand that would make my wishes and dreams come true.

What I never stopped to consider, is that in most fairy tales, Fairy Godmothers appear in times of crisis and despair. They themselves may be beautiful and soothing, but most likely, you won't be looking or feeling all that pretty yourself. In fact, Fairy Godmothers tend to arrive when you are scared, upset, and looking your worst!

As I recall, Cinderella was on her hands and knees, wearing dirty rags, scrubbing the floor and feeling overlooked and unappreciated by her sisters and mother, when her Fairy Godmother arrived. In The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy too was feeling lost and alone. She had just dodged The Wicked Witch and a house from falling on her head when suddenly, Glenda the Good Witch made her presence known.

So too, it was with me when I first met my Fairy Godmother. Her name is Denise Linn, and she arrived in my life in a manner that I was not expecting. In modern times, Fairy Godmothers don't always arrive in sequined dresses, and they come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, races, ages and religions.

Here is what I discovered. Regardless of what they look like, how they appear, or what they might usher in or out of your life, Fairy Godmothers come to you in a time of need, to guide you in the journey that is ahead of you, and to encourage you to persevere in your efforts to honor your soul's desires. Even if it seems like awful timing to you, the arrival of your Fairy Godmother is always a result of divine timing and divine order.

Over the years, I have developed trust in the benevolence of the Universe and its inherent Divine timing. Every once in a while though, I am convinced that It gently tricks me, in order to lead me where my soul wants to go. That is certainly the only way I ever would have been in the right place at the right time in order to meet my Fairy Godmother.

You see, even though I adore nature (especially the mountains) and I love to be outside, I am not a very good camper.... I am good at working in the yard for 10 hours, or spending the day hiking from dawn to dusk... I'm also pretty athletic and love to walk, run and play tennis, so I don't mind getting dirty at all... but at the end of the day, I HAVE to take a shower...Then, I want to sleep in a nice comfortable bed... NOT a cabin that has no electricity or running water....

I also like to look and feel pretty, and I need an electrical outlet to do my hair. (I am a Queen, after all...) When I'm meeting someone for the very first time, I like to look my best (OK, that is true pretty much all of the time..) So, as you can probably sense by now, NONE of this was the case, when my Fairy Godmother appeared in my life!

I never had many heroes or people that inspired me growing up, because I never met anyone who has experienced the painful situations I encountered in my life to the degree to which I had. I also think when you put someone on a pedestal, you stand in his or her shadow. I think I had already lived enough in the shadow of my sisters that I wanted to forge my own way and be my own person. I wanted to find a bigger purpose in my life and discover a way to use my life experience to help others.

I tried finding inspiration by reading business books but they never really interested me. I'm sure some of that was because I figured out a way to have plenty of money at an early age, so making it in the business world wasn't something I was striving for, or how I defined success.

I also never got anything out of books written by sports heroes. I love sports and certainly believe in the value of participating in them, but the only thing that has ever really interested me, is something that most people find very simple and rather unremarkable. I have always been fascinated by the relationship we have with ourselves, one another, and the world around us.

The books I was attracted to emphasized the value of appreciating beauty, love, grace, kindness and compassion and using them as a means of connecting to the healing power of the Divine. I was inspired by stories about people who had faced deep pain, betrayal and cruelty and yet still had an open heart and a desire to be of love and service.

As a social worker, I already knew the impact our environment had upon us personally and professionally. I decided to combine my love and appreciation for creating beauty in interior design, with my counseling and social work skills. I wanted to help my clients "create an environment" that fueled and sustained every aspect of their lives, inside and out.

That's when I read Denise Linn's book Sacred Space, (www.DeniseLinn.com). Her book spoke to my soul and changed my life. It illuminated a way that I could express myself and use all of my talents to help others. I decided that someday I would like to meet Denise Linn and attend one of her classes or seminars. Little did I know that simple desire would alter the course of my life in a very powerful way.

At that time, I was enrolled in an intensive training program that required me to attend six 10-day seminars around the country. Much to my delight, I discovered that Denise Linn was to be a guest lecturer at one of those seminars, and it was going to be held at a "retreat center" on Vashon Island near Seattle.

Now, if I was considering going on a retreat today, I would probably go right to the internet and check out where it was being held. Back then, I'm not sure I even knew what the internet was, so when I read "retreat center," here is what came to mind.

Years earlier, I had spent an idyllic week on retreat at Kripalu, which is a center for Yoga and Health in Lenox Massachusetts. I don't recall doing much yoga, but I spent hours meditating, writing, taking long walks in the crisp Autumn air, and enjoying the splendor of the changing leaves. They served wonderful organic all natural food and I savored eating silent breakfasts, staring out at the Berkshire Mountains, and restoring and rejuvenating my soul. I had a simple private bedroom and bath with a bathtub in it, so I was blissfully content.

I spent most of the summers of my childhood in New England and I think the Berkshire Mountain Range is absolutely stunning. Several times each summer we went to Lenox, which is often described as "Currier and Ives lovely." Many society families from The Gilded Age used to summer there, and some of their estates are now open to the public (including the home of Edith Wharton). It is also the home of Tanglewood, the summer home for The Boston Symphony Orchestra. You can sit outside under the stars on a perfect New England summer evening, have a picnic and listen to the Boston Pops play (which is pretty close to heaven for me).

When I read that Denise Linn was teaching at a retreat center, that lovely idyllic week I spent in Lenox, floated into my mind. I decided to register and happily purchased my plane ticket to Seattle. I didn't think much more about it, until it was time to leave. My boyfriend dropped me off at the Airport and when he kissed me goodbye he said teasingly to me, "You know Amy, I hear bears like to eat pearls, you might not want to wear them camping!"

My boyfriend was very funny and loved to tease me, so I didn't really pay much attention to him. He also had a hard time keeping track of my latest spiritual pursuits and travels, so I figured he hadn't remembered where I was going. "I'm not going camping," I said, " It is a "retreat center."

My boyfriend often had intuitive flashes (which I actually valued and trusted) but he didn't say anything else to me that day. He just gave me a knowing look and then grinned wickedly at me. I still thought he was teasing, so I laughed, hugged him goodbye, and went on my merry way. That was the first warning sign I should have paid attention to, but I didn't. I boarded my plane and began what was to be a very memorable journey.

I arrived in Seattle, met some friends in my program at the airport, and we took a ferry to the island, arriveing at the retreat center as the sun was beginning to set. As we headed to the main building to check in, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach and could feel my anxiety starting to rise.

The host and owner welcomed us and gave us a quick tour. I instantly liked the owner and could tell that having this retreat center was a dream of hers that had come to fruition. I wanted to appear appreciative of her efforts to make this week special for us, but I don't think I pulled that off.

We started the tour out in the main building , which had long tables and benches for meals that she and her husband would prepare for us. I did feel some relief when I saw that there was a bathroom with showers and sinks, so I figured it couldn't be all that bad. Then, as we took a long walk to the cabin where we would be staying, I started to change my mind. I realized this was not going to be quite what I had been envisioning. I thought back to my boyfriend's parting words, and while I didn't dare ask this out loud, I found myself wondering "Are there really bears out here?"

Our cabins were tiny with wooden bunk beds and no electricity. When our host pointed out the latrine near our cabin, I knew why I had such a pit in my stomach when we checked in. At that point, ten days was starting to seem like a very long time to me, and I was really regretting this decision. I am actually a pretty good sport when I have to be, and even if I have a bit of meltdown initially, I can usually pull it together pretty quickly. I decided that is what I must do!

I thought about my best friend who lives in Maine, and to her, "camping" is spending a week in the complete wilderness, cooking your food over an open fire, and sleeping on the ground in a tent. I knew she would be amused by me describing this experience as "camping."

My best friend also likes to call me Amy Vanderbilt because Amy Vanderbilt like me, believed in manners, writing thank-you notes, and being as gracious as possible no matter what situation you encounter. I highly doubt Amy Vanderbilt ever went camping, but I decided to channel her energy and see if I could handle this with a little more grace.

I reminded myself that I had backpacked across Europe by myself, so surely I could handle 10 days of roughing it for a bit. I decided to be grateful that at least I could walk in the middle of the night to a real bathroom if I had to... and hopefully, I wouldn't meet any bears along the way. Besides, I was going to spend the week with some good friends, and I would have a chance to meet Denise Linn.

I decided to focus on why I was there and what I wanted to get out of this week. I already sensed it was an ideal opportunity to clear some old issues out my life and that is why most of us were there anyway....

You can't take anyone further than you yourself have personally gone. If you want to facilitate self awareness and growth in others, you first have to do your own internal work. I had already spent years doing that, but I could feel that this week was stirring something very old inside of me, that needed to be released. I knew it must be important, or I would not have been in complete denial about where I was going and what this week would be like, (and therefore chosen not to attend).

I would say that one of my greatest gifts is understanding group dynamics. It is something I have been doing since the day I was born into my family as the youngest of seven children. Observing other people and how they interact with one another is second nature to me. As I met some of my fellow cabin mates, I could see that this week was going to have some very interesting group dynamics. I was actually starting to look forward to what would unfold, because that is always a fascinating process to me.

Whatever you are resisting in your life, will become more evident in a group. The reason for this is that the family you grew up in was your original "group experience." You will take whatever dynamics and patterns of interaction you had in your family of origin, and transfer them to the relationships and group experiences you create in your present life.

That is why attending some kind of group seminar is of great benefit to you when you are on an inner journey. Participating in a group process will accelerate your awareness of how you interact with your environment. It helps you to clearly see why you do the things you do, and where this pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving came from.

In short, what is unconscious and unknown to you, will become conscious and known to you, as you develop relationships with the other people in your group. You will discover the belief systems that you have, which may or may not be serving you well. Then you will have to ask yourself " Am I willing to change this? If you are, then a situation or event will present itself in that group, which enables you to make that transformation inside of you.

The facilitator who is "in charge" of the group, will often trigger the dynamics you had with your parents, teachers or caretakers. When I was at the Gestalt Institute, we made sure every group was co-facilitated by a man and a woman. That partnership triggers your parental dynamics in a much more heightened way, so that you become aware of the issues you need to work on. It is an extraordinarily powerful and effective way to accomplish inner awareness and growth, because the other people in your group illuminate what you need to pay attention to.

I was reflecting on all of this as I headed out to the dining hall to join the rest of my training program for dinner. I observed that our group was all women and only one man ( the exact dynamics of my family, all girls and one boy). When I realized that I was once again "the youngest," I knew that something was being orchestrated that my soul wanted me to experience...

Despite the lack of electricity and plumbing, I was genuinely happy to see some of the friends I had made in our earlier weeks of training. One by one, each friend cheerfully pointed out the outlet in the bathroom to me, (as if I hadn't already scoped that out) and I had to laugh.

Apparently, word had already spread that I was a bit out of my element! ( another old family dynamic of mine). We enjoyed a delicious meal and when we were finished eating, we decided to reconvene in front of the campfire. Since the sun had gone down and it was much colder, my cabin mates and I decided to first stop back at our cabin and put on warmer clothes.

Whenever you are participating in a group, there is a "bonding process" that has to occur before your dynamics and roles emerge... As I started to walk back to my cabin, I was wondering how that would occur. Then, I overheard the head of our training program tell the owner of the retreat center (who prepared all of our food) that "No one in our group was "allowed" to have any sugar or dessert for the entire ten days we were there." That got my attention!

Whenever you are doing deep inner work, it is helpful to eat lightly, and as organically as possible. The higher and purer the frequency of the food and energy that you absorb, the more it can sustain the enlightenment that is occurring inside of you. I understood what our teacher was trying to do. I was still a bit surprised by it though, because whenever you forbid someone to do something (at any age) that only exacerbates his or her desire and tendency to want to do it.

As I walked back to my cabin in the dark, I had a feeling this would be what our group would bond over. Anytime you control what people put into their body and how they fuel and take care of themselves, it is going to trigger a lot of control issues. With women, that usually stirs a lot of mother issues, which opens up a whole lot of other dynamics to deal with as well.

On a deeper level, this requires you to examine how you mother and care for yourself. Your ability to provide for yourself will unearth many issues of self esteem and worthiness. Developing your sense of worth requires exploring your perception of the Divine and its ability to love and provide for your needs. All of those issues are woven into any challenge you face in your relationships, health, finances, and spiritual practice.

Before you can work through these issues of the soul, you must first create a "sacred space" that helps you feel safe enough to explore the fear and pain you are holding onto. I knew instantly why Denise had been called to show up this week. Even though I was still anxious, I had a sense of calm descend upon me, because if there is anything I had already spent years doing, it was delving into all of this!

By the time I arrived back at my cabin, I was very cold, and I surveyed the clothes I had packed to see what I could wear. I was a bit of a fashionista back then, and it quickly became apparent to me that I was not equipped with the right clothing for the next ten days. While my navy blue Chanel jacket with gold buttons was beautiful, I just didn't think it was appropriate for sitting around the campfire... I considered wearing my darling velvet overalls with the cute matching shoes, but I didn't think they would work out so well either.

Thankfully, I had packed two of my boyfriend's sweaters, and I ended up living in them for the next ten days. (I also wore my pearls because I couldn't leave them in the cabin... What if a bear were to come along and eat them? I was laughing at myself with my fellow cabin members, when there was a commotion outside.

Apparently, word had spread that we were "not allowed" to have dessert all week. As I suspected, that was not well received. Someone who lived in Seattle had driven her car onto the island so, she "sneaked out" to the grocery store, and stocked up on anything sweet she could find.

From then on, the night got better and better. Much to my surprise, I discovered that on the corner of this property, there was a small building that had a meeting room in it [with electricity !] Even better than that, it had a hot tub! We decided to forgo the campfire and reconvene there.

I may not have brought the right clothes, but being the consummate host and lover of beauty that I am, I did bring a lovely scarf and a few tea-light candles in my suitcase... (You just never know when they will come in handy... especially on an island!) We created a lovely spread of dessert by candlelight, while relaxing in a steaming hot tub and looking up at the stars. It almost felt like Tanglewood, and it was pretty heavenly to me. ( Amy Vanderbilt would have been proud!)

That night our group bonded. We united in our refusal to be told what we could or could not eat.... and once that happened, it set the stage for all our dynamics (and conflicts) to emerge, which we then spent the next few days processing....

There are various stages that must occur within a group, before it can facilitate a corrective experience that frees you up to move forward in some area of your life. To me, facilitating that corrective experience for another person occurs when you connect soul to soul.

It is a sacred art form that I have great respect and appreciation for. It requires a level of authenticity and trust between the group facilitator and the participants that in my opinion, can only be created and sustained by Divine inspiration and Divine intervention.

Before you can facilitate that experience for someone, you have to create the environment in which it can occur. You must create a safe and honoring sanctuary that encourages someone to be willing to explore his or her fear, and expand his or her capacity for forgiveness and love.

Ultimately what you are doing is guiding someone to bring a spark of the Divine into whatever painful experience they are holding onto. It is that co-creative moment with Divine forces that creates the change and transformation within someone. It actually doesn't have much to do with the facilitator.

In fact, it requires that you as a facilitator become a channel and allow the Divine to flow through you, while staying out of the way and not attempting to control the process. It requires the highest level of integrity, grace and authenticity, and it is sacred work that should not be entered into lightly. This process is not the result of how much you know or how much education you have. In fact, sometimes those things just impede the process instead of facilitating it.

It is an honor and a privilege when another soul is willing to give you such trust. It can only happen when you have done enough inner work yourself that you can allow yourself to be a clear channel for the Divine, and stay out of the way. Learning how to unclog that channel, is what many people in my training program came to learn.

That week on that island was a bugle call that some of us heard and showed up for. We shared moments in time that transformed us, and then sent us back out to do the work of our soul. It is usually in those moments of your life that your fairy godmother arrives, and that is when Denise Linn showed up in mine...

My three closest friends in that program were also looking forward to meeting Denise. We recognized that we put ourselves in this uncomfortable and unfamiliar environment, because collectively we sensed it was essential for our soul's journey. We knew this week was necessary for what was to come, even if at that time, that was still an unknown.

For some reason, I had this silly fantasy that I would be Denise's best and most favorite student that she would always remember... Since she speaks to stadiums filled with thousands of people, I didn't have a plan for how I would stand out exactly.

However, I was confident that this would occur, just like I used to think my Royal Courier would arrive... I guess that should have been another warning sign to pay attention to... but I let that one slip by me as well.

As our week progressed, I was pretty proud of myself for how well I had coped, (even though I commandeered the "bath house" where the hot tub was, and slept on the floor inside of that). Our group bonded and shared some sacred moments as we supported one another in our process of transformation from the inside out.

Finally, the moment we had been waiting for arrived, and our group gathered in front of the Yurt, where we had our daily sessions. Denise welcomed us inside where she had transformed the space into a beautiful sanctuary filled with candles and flowers and it radiated the tranquil and peaceful energy of the Divine. We spent a few hours together and when we took a break, I could tell something was happening to me. My chest was tight, I couldn't swallow and I felt very anxious, as if I couldn't talk.

Our next session began with drumming, which is a very primal and evocative, and after a few seconds, it caused an eruption inside of me. I started to cry and could not stop. My absolute horror that I was creating such a scene, interrupting everyone else's experience, and worst of all, was making Denise come over to sit with me, simply made it worse. Despite having many experiences prior to this one, it was as if all the pain, fear and shame inside me welled up and wanted to be released. I shook and cried and curled up in Denise's lap and let it all come out.

When someone is releasing the pain around a traumatic event from the past, you do want him or her to experience the blocked emotion, but you don't want to reactivate the old trauma so much that he or she re-experiences and relives it (that is not therapeutic and an old model of therapy).

The goal is to activate a strength and resource that this person now possesses, and bring that resource back into the original trauma so that you can shift the vibrational pattern he or she has been holding. Denise was trying to do that with me and kept telling me I had to be like "Zena the Warrior Princess" The problem was, I didn't know who Zena the Warrior Princess was, and I couldn't stop crying long enough to explain that to her. ( I didn't watch much TV, so I had no idea what that show was about).

Even in my regressed state, I was very much aware that this was happening to me at what felt like the worse moment in time, and I was mortified. This was not the first impression I wanted to make, and not how I wanted Denise to remember me...Not only that, I couldn't even do this darn corrective exercise properly... I was a therapist for goodness sake, I knew what I was supposed to be doing!

Eventually that is what made me come back into the present moment, be able to laugh with Denise, and shift that experience into a new place. It took a long time though, which some members of my group did not appreciate. That is part of the group process too. You have to learn how to get your needs met despite what other people may think about it, which was still something I had a hard time doing.

What transpired as a result of all that shifted many patterns inside me. It allowed me to release an enormous amount of fear which had kept me stuck for a very long time. I think the drumming pushed everything up to the surface and then Denise's ability to create the sacred space for my healing to occur is what enabled me to come out on the other side.

This emotional release was the result of being sexually abused by a man who worked for my parents. For years, I lived in terror, waiting for him to come and get me. Then in college, I was raped by some marines, who then stalked me for the two years following that. The pain those acts create is difficult to describe, but I think the sense of helplessness and fear they create inside of you, is far more debilitating than the traumatic experience itself.

I was also abused in the name of God, and told that this was a high honor. Healing from this required forgiving those men for those acts, and also forgiving God. Not only was I going to have to forgive God, but my healing would ultimately come about by believing in and surrendering to God and letting go of my limited understanding of the Divine.

In therapy we call that a double bind, and in my case, it was a double double bind. Coming to a place of forgiveness and peace was a process that happened layer by layer, and moment by moment. It required me to find people who I could trust so purely and completely that I could surrender my fear and borrow their faith, until I could restore my own.

Even though I had already had years of therapy, Denise was the perfect person to help me with this. She too had similar experiences and had already walked through that fear herself. She had a man try to kill her when she was young, and he was never sent to jail. She was the only person I had ever met who knew what it was like to live with the fear that someone "was out there" stalking you, and there was no force outside of you who would keep you safe.

Denise was also the one person who could radiate absolute confidence and knowing that it was possible to do what she was asking me to do, because she had already done it. I felt her authenticity and willingness to believe in my capability to let that experience go. Your soul knows the truth and will guide you to the people and resources you need so that you can convert the energy of fear into an energy that expands your ability to forgive, and restores your ability to love.

I have come to believe that authenticity is the key to finding your freedom from fear and discovering how to honor your soul. Authenticity is the result of creating sacred space inside of you, so that your soul can bring a spark of the divine into any situation that needs healing. It is about making peace with where you are, even if it is someplace you really don't want to be.

Being authentic about where you are, allows you to surrender. It brings the peace of acceptance as well as the freedom to respond differently and open to a new way or answer, to come to you. Surrender doesn't mean capitulation to the Divine, or some force outside of you that wants you to experience something really awful. It means letting go and trusting that there is a gentler, more loving and benevolent way, if you are willing to "create the space" for that new way to come into your experience. I think your task is to create that space and then the rest is up to the Divine.

My interactions with Denise taught me the power of authenticity. Being authentic gives you permission to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable enables you to let go of the judgments you have which block you from healing. When you no longer care what someone else thinks of you, and when you are willing to be who you are and offer that to the world, then you may still experience pain, but you will be free from fear. When you are free from fear, the Divine can use its power to completely transform your life.

I had to learn all of this first hand before I could truly accept and appreciate it as my truth. That happened because I was stuck on this stupid island that I couldn't get off of, having to wear the same clothes for seven days. Not only did I have no makeup on, but my hair looked awful, and I had slept on the floor for a week. Then, I finally had the opportunity to meet someone I really admired and I ended up collapsing and sobbing on her lap in the fetal position.

It wasn't my finest hour and certainly not what I was hoping for. Your soul doesn't really care about any of that, and when you stop caring about it, you will find the true source of your power inside of you. Learning to be genuine and authentic about where you are, is a precursor to practicing unconditional love.

Denise is the most genuine and authentic person I know. She has written over 20 best selling books, and has traveled all over the world for the last thirty years, teaching and helping thousands of people. She has "been on Oprah" and done all the things that people believe make you "successful."

She doesn't show up with an entourage around her, and when you meet her, you feel like you have met an old friend. Denise is funny, kind and entirely approachable. You can immediately feel her sincere desire to be of love and to help you in any way she can.

To me, that ability to be who you are and connect soul to soul, has become how I define success. I think that is what makes you powerful and gives you the ability to inspire and uplift those around you. It is an internal state of being you create inside of you, so that you can face the challenges life brings and find your creative power.

You will never stop facing challenges in life which means you have to learn to deal with your fear. If you look around at what many in this country are focusing on, it is the energy of fear. Most people have absolutely no idea how to handle fear. They have been taught to look for sources of power outside of them to address what they are afraid of and feel helpless to fix.

In the eleven years since I first met Denise, I have continued to free myself from the grip of fear and develop a more intimate relationship with the Divine. I wish I could tell you that my freedom from fear happened in that one instant, but it didn't. I created experience after experience where I had to choose to free myself from the bondage and pain of fear.

Some of those experiences required more grace than others. There were some moments where all I could do was breathe and simply persevere. That is when Denise showed up for me again as only Fairy Godmothers can do!

The funny thing about Denise is that she doesn't think she has much royal energy about her, but I disagree! Saying Yes to Your Majesty, is about being authentic, not judging where you are and creating sacred space inside of you and in others, so that transformation can occur. It has nothing to with your wardrobe, your castle or the kingdom in which you live ( although I love all those things!) It is about embracing the beauty and the power of Divine inside of you, and then helping others to do the same. I can't think of anyone who does that more majestically than Denise Linn, and I should know because I'm a queen!

In fact, my camping trip confirmed this for me in more ways than one. In our closing exercise, Denise guided us in a meditation which took us back in time. The goal was to find some resource or strength that we could bring back and use in the present moment.

It doesn't really matter whether you believe that this is real or not. It is still a powerful technique that can get to the root of a problem and change the coding and vibrational patterns within you, and it is one I highly recommend. (www.deniselinn.com)

In my meditation, I found myself back in Egypt. I was thrilled to discover what I had always known... I was indeed a Queen who radiated her grace and majesty, and I felt what stepping into your power could do. She showed me how many of her subjects depended on her grace as a source of inspiration and leadership. Her light and beauty seemed more like a necessity and she knew that sharing it with others, was the greatest responsibility she had.When I came out of that meditation, I realized that Saying Yes to Your Majesty and facing your fear is really the very same journey.

I have to admit that receiving "proof" of my royalty brought me great delight. I don't think it was much of a surprise to anyone who knows me, but it fulfilled a desire inside of me that I had been longing to meet since I was a very little girl.

I believe that Everyone has a Fairy Godmother, and she will arrive in your life when you need her the most. People mistakenly think that Fairy Godmothers don't exist and that fairy tales are just "make believe" stories that never come true. Well, I absolutely disagree. Your life's journey is the story of your life. Only you have the power to write it which means you can decide how it turns out.

Here is what you have to remember. Fairy Godmothers do more than bring you a fabulous pair of shoes and a dashing heroic prince. (Although they love those things and want you to have them too!) Fairy Godmothers come to guide you on the journey which becomes "the story" of your life. Before Cinderella could find her prince, she had to find the kingdom within her first. Dorothy went on a very long journey before she finally discovered that "There's no place like home."

Going home is really about learning to be "at home" and "at peace "with where you are, regardless of the external conditions that surround you. Home is actually a place inside of you, not outside of you. You might think you are a well dressed Queen, or someone stuck in the middle of a camping nightmare, but the real story is who you are on the inside and how you connect to that place where your soul resides. When you go there, you will discover that your soul wants you to live happily ever after.

In the last few weeks, I have been thinking about the journey that I have taken which has brought me to this awareness. I realized that it was a very good thing that my Royal Courier never arrived! He would have prevented me from taking the very journey I had to go on in order to embrace my majesty and become the Queen I longed to be.

One day I was writing in my office when something caught my eye. Every year I make a vision board for myself filled with things I want to create and experience. I happened to look at this board which is positioned near my desk. On it was a picture of a couple dancing (which I probably cut out last year, right around New Years Eve). I can't see this man's face [since he is gazing adoringly at the woman he is dancing with ] but he is tall with dark hair, and guess what he is wearing? A tuxedo!!!

My life experience has taught me that things don't always turn out like you planned. Sometimes you realize that what you think you want, isn't really what you want at all. As I looked at that picture, I thought to myself " I wonder if what I thought was my Royal Courier was in actuality, my future King!"

Since these matters come under the authority of Fairy Godmothers, I thought I would call on mine once again, and see if she could lend me a little assistance! I will let you know how this story ends, although I am pretty sure it will be happily ever after!

The Knights of Panera

Occasionally I receive an email from someone who wants to know my opinion about what some author, speaker or teacher has written or said. While I usually do have a definite opinion, I try not to comment for several reasons.

First of all, I think it is more important that you decide what you think and feel about everyone and everything in your life. I don't want anyone dependent on what I think, because that is a loss of personal power, and I don't want to perpetuate that.

I am also mindful of the fact that whatever you focus on gets bigger, so it is actually an empowering act for me to allow everyone to have his or her opinion, and not push against anything I don't like or agree with.

Finally, I think it is bad form to criticize someone else's work or ideas. Not only is it disrespectful, but you never know how what you say will be misconstrued or translated. I happen to think that Thumper The Rabbit's mother gave him good advice when she said, " If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothin' at all." That is by no means easy to do, but it is something I have been practicing for many years, so I have gotten better at it over time.

Just so you know, even if I don't express my opinion publicly, that doesn't mean I don't have a very definite opinion that I do express in private! On more than one occasion, I have rolled my eyes and snorted in irritation, when someone sends me something that I find completely "schmarmy" (that's my favorite word).

My righteous indignation only lasts for a little while though... because I know that whatever I observe in the world outside of me, is a reflection of the world inside of me. So, if I judge someone else as "schmarmy," then I am faced with the task of figuring out what this person reflects inside of me, that I don't want to see.

A few years ago, I realized that I could not keep having the same reaction to what I saw as the commercialization of spiritual principles. I decided to sit down and clean up my energy about this topic. While there were many authors, teachers and speakers I was pleased to see get so much press, there seemed to be too many that I was appalled by.

I think an integral teacher does not control the information his or her students learn, in order to keep them dependent upon him or her. To me, "schmarmy" describes those "experts" who leave out the spiritual component of this work, in an effort to make it have more mass appeal. Controlling what and how people learn for your own personal gain, is by its very nature, disempowering.

As a teacher, I happen to believe that you cannot separate the material from the spiritual EVER, and when you do, you will never get the results you are seeking. There is more to applying universal principles of energy to your life than sitting around and visualizing what you want. In fact, if you ever walk away from any book, seminar, movie, CD or DVD, and think that is all you have to do, then you have a had a poor teacher, and I fault the teacher not the student. He or she has not given you all the information you need to eventually find your own power and move past your dependence upon him or her. To me, that is schmarmy!

That being said, I knew that the phenomenon I was observing was just a consequence of our American tendency to want a quick fix, and not being willing to do the inner work to create true sustainable change. I knew that it was time for me to do some inner work and clean up my reaction to it because that is the only thing you ever have the power to change. I decided to focus on and appreciate all of the wonderful teachers who do emphasize the Divine component in this process, and who also stress the necessity of doing the inner work.

That worked temporarily, but eventually I realized there was something bigger in all of this for me. I looked at the people I judged as "schmarmy," and asked myself "What was it that bothered me so much?" I could appreciate that these people were doing what they loved, and that everyone one has a right to attain material success in whatever manner that brings them joy. I too value being appreciated and paid well for my work, so that wasn't it....

This was a hard thing to work through because I really didn't want to think I could be "schmarmy!" To me, the process of learning and applying universal principles of energy to your life is sacred work. Helping others on the inner journey of self discovery that connects them with their soul, is a privilege that I honor and take seriously.

What I realized is that I had resistance to anything that attempts to separate the spiritual from the material, and suggests that this is an easy process, or one that can be packaged and sold in such a simplistic and commercial manner.

My resistance emerged from a desire to "protect" those people who don't have the discernment to choose wisely when seeking a teacher to assist them. That was a very controlling desire I had. I was trying to prevent other women from making some of the poor choices I made over the years. You can waste a lot of money, time and resources turning to experts outside of you, who don't have the ability to do the inner work for you. Doing that inner work is the only guarantee of your success, and it is entirely up to you.

That led me full circle and reminded me that the only way you learn anything is from your own life experience. Life and the choices you make, are what teach you to exercise discernment. I couldn't rescue myself or anyone else from having to learn how to make wise choices. My desire to do so, was depriving people of an essential lesson that they must learn in order to find the source of power inside of them. You learn discernment through the trial and error of life experience, not from a book or teacher.

While my intentions may not have been "schmarmy," I too was trying to control how and what people learned. I was leaving out a very important component in the process of applying universal principles of energy to your life, by wanting to "protect" people and prevent them from learning from their own experience,

On the surface of it all, my intentions may have appeared more noble, but I was still doing precisely what I was judging other teachers for doing! Many times our efforts to "protect" are more about attempting to "control," which is more disempowering than empowering. I was attempting to control how people learned spiritual principles so that I could satisfy my desire to feel "justified and right" about the "proper" way to teach this information. There is nothing more controlling and conditional than that, especially from someone who teaches about unconditional love!

That uncomfortable realization illuminated what these teachers were mirroring inside of me that I didn't want to see, and in that moment, a sense of peace washed over me. I felt detached from what anyone else was doing. Then, I had a very funny experience that transformed my whole perspective on all of this. I received a message in meditation that made me laugh so hard that I swung very quickly from righteous indignation into complete appreciation.

The message I received came from my father. He shifted my attention away from the poor choices that people might make, and helped me to focus on appreciating the potential for good that exists in every situation. As with all things, it became a matter of perspective for me, and a willingness to see the humor in whatever I encounter...

My father died in 1997, and he frequently arrives with a message for me when I am meditating. He still surprises me with his humor, because in life, he was a bit intimidating and proper. He did have a very dry and somewhat startling sense of humor though, and sometimes, my friends would turn to me in a state of shock, and say "Your father is actually funny, I think he just told a joke!" That is often the reaction I have today, when my father comes to me in meditation. I have learned to appreciate his ability to make me laugh especially when my Irish temper has flared (which I inherited from him).

Once I felt the relief of no longer caring what any other teacher was doing, I settled down to meditate. That is when my father delivered the following message which still makes me smile. He said to me " Why don't you think of these "fellows," as your Knights in Shining Armor charging across the country, clearing a pathway for The Queen" (That's me!)

When I heard that message, I laughed and laughed and laughed. Not only because it was funny, but also because I know that most of "those fellows" would not appreciate that I regard them as "Knights" who are charging about in service of me!! (By the way, there were and still are, many "fellows "and "females" who charge around the country, whose works and ideas I think very highly of). These days, I am happy to say that I appreciate them all!

That transformation in my perspective helped me to write my second book Say Yes To Your Majesty. A big part of Saying Yes to Your Majesty and becoming the change you want to see in the world, is surrounding yourself with people who share your values, and who support you in your efforts to add to the love, light and beauty in the world. You need Knights in your life who clear a pathway way for you, so that you can do what you were born to do.

When you start to appreciate the people who help you move forward in your life, they begin to multiply and show up wherever and whenever you need them. I actually have many Knights in my life today. Many of them I have met at Panera Bread where I faithfully write every single day. In this century, "The Knights of Panera" don't need a round table. Instead, they sit in comfortable leather chairs, working on their laptops and connecting with fellow writers and friends.

The Knights of Panera have played a big role in my life in the past few years. Most of them are not charging across the country, but have "cleared a pathway" for me in very quiet and unassuming ways. The very first Knight I met at Panera, was Sir Zach. I dubbed him The Knight of Northland, because he works at a very conservative church, and yet has an incredibly open mind. We spent many hours discussing what we believe, and he was enormously encouraging to me in his ability to listen and consider my ideas in a sincere and genuine manner.

The second Knight I met at Panera was Sir Rob, who I dubbed The Duke of Richmond when he moved from Orlando to Richmond Virginia. We met while I was writing in Panera one day and I needed some technical assistance with my computer. I looked up and noticed Rob sitting next to me, also working on his laptop. (We both have an Apple). I asked him to show me how to do something on my laptop and he has been helping me in one way or another ever since.

When I met Rob, I was designing the cover for my first book, The Energy of Success. I am particular about my artistic endeavors and always have a clear vision of what I want to design. I get easily frustrated by technology when I can't convey my vision to someone in order for it to be designed on a computer. Rob is the only person I have ever met who can see my vision immediately. He designs everything perfectly, with my exact same attention to detail and value for beauty, grace and symmetry.

The Duke of Richmond is a very busy husband, father of three children, a brilliant film-maker and the sponsor of School for children in Haiti. (www.HaitiChildSponsorship.org). He rarely ever has a second to sit still, let alone make it to Panera Bread. Yet, somehow, (miraculously to me) we met that day, and he agreed to help me design my book covers, both of which I think are beautiful. He continuously clears the way for me, and solves the technological difficulties I am faced with. Even though he moved to Richmond, he remains a huge source of help and support to me.

The third Knight I met while writing, I dubbed Sir Henry, and he is truly The Knight of Panera. Sir Henry had a successful career as a writer for a newspaper for 30 years, and he actually spends more time at Panera Bread than I do! Sir Henry is beloved to all who know him. He seems to know everyone who walks through the doors of Panera and is greeted by a myriad of fans whenever he sits down.

Sir Henry has a great sense of humor and on many occasions, he has made a passing comment that unbeknownst to him, has turned my day around. Some of my interactions with him helped me see how simple a job it can be, to "clear a pathway" for someone else. You just have to be willing to stop and take a moment to do so.

I am writing a series of books for adolescent girls, and there have been days when I sat and wrote at Panera for 14 hours. Sir Henry and his friends often gather early in the morning for breakfast, and then reconvene later at night for dinner. On some of my longer days spent writing, I would see him on both occasions.

On many of those days, I would wonder why I was pushing myself so hard to do this. At that precise moment, Sir Henry would walk by my table and say something that would make me laugh. He sees me as a fellow "writer" and that in and of itself, has been very helpful and encouraging. Once when I was ready to pull my hair out and throw my computer, he walked by and asked me how I was doing. I responded with something self deprecating like " Well, I'm no JK Rowling... and Sir Henry said "Sure you are. Don't ever say that!"

He said it with such sincerity, that I took a moment and imagined what it would feel like to reach an audience that vast. I had a moment of pure joy envisioning millions of teenage girls learning to embrace the power and majesty inside of them at such a young age. Whether or not that ever happens, that moment encouraged me and cleared the way for me to keep writing.

Sir Henry frequently stops by my table to provide me some fact about a famous writer. Recently he told me that Nathaniel Hawthorne took a job as a customs agent in Boston, so that he could write all night. Hawthorne then secured that position for his friend Herman Melville, when he was finally able to retire from it.

Henry knows I have written one out of a series of six books. Since the first book took me ten months to write, the entire project will probably take me about six years to complete. He doesn't want me to give up, which many writers threaten to do. I don't think that I could ever do that, but I appreciate Henry's efforts to keep me going.

It is easy to think that Henry is just "passing by and wishing me well," but I believe that small things do matter. You may not be a Knight charging about in a dramatic way, but you have the ability to clear the pathway for someone else. You never know when what you say might turn someone's day around and lead him or her to a happier more fulfilling place...

Lest you think that all of The Knights of Panera are men, I have another favorite Knight whose name is Jennifer, and she is one of the managers. Many days, her smile and efforts to procure my favorite table have put me into a state of pure appreciation, which immediately gets me in the flow of writing. A few weeks ago, she dubbed me "The Carrie Bradshaw of Panera," and that designation really made me laugh (although I am probably more like Charlotte than Carrie...)

I don't think it matters if you are a Knight or a Queen, because it is 2008, and women today can be both! Those titles are just different ways of expressing feminine and masculine power, and what is important is how you use your power in the world.

Many women in my generation frowned upon Knights because the need for a Knight seemed to imply a lack of feminine power. The thinking was that we shouldn't be "damsels in distress" waiting to be rescued. While I agree with that, I don't think there is anything wrong with having someone help you and create a way for you to move forward with ease. I also don't think you should wait until you are distressed, before you ask and receive the help you need.

In fact, an unwillingness to ask for help is evidence of an imbalance of feminine power. Interestingly enough, that same generation of women who were taught to disapprove of Knights, have spent years charging all over, taking care of everyone else before themselves, and are now being diagnosed with breast cancer and heart disease at alarming rates. That is something to think about....

I went to college in the South and appreciated the "southern gentlemen" from Kentucky and Oklahoma, who practically tripped over themselves, in an effort to open the door for us. (Although, I never actually considered Kentucky or Oklahoma "southern") My northern feminist friends were rather disdainful of this, which I never understood. One of my friends had a T-shirt that said "Chivalry is dead... The Knight fell off his horse. He isn't coming, so get over it!" I thought that was an awful T-shirt and I still do!

If someone wants to open the door for you, I think you should smile, say thank you, and graciously appreciate his (or her) efforts to help you transition from one place to another. What on earth is wrong with that? I don't think that having someone hold the door for you is an insult to feminine power. In fact, I think that attitude has created confusion about what the feminine paradigm is really about.

People mistakenly assume that I do not appreciate masculine expressions of power and that is most definitely not true. When we deny any expression of power, we create stress, imbalance and problems in our life. We need both masculine and feminine expressions of our power. What has gotten us so out of balance is the idea that one is better than the other. Even a state of balance is just a temporary resting place until the pendulum swings again. Part of Saying Yes to Your Majesty is finding ways to express both your feminine and masculine power in a manner that is harmonious with the world around you.

Interestingly enough, most of The Knights in my life have helped me in ways that reflect feminine expressions of power. They have been kind, supportive, collaborative and helped me express myself in a way that honors my soul. That's the myth about being A Knight. You can do it any form that feels comfortable to you, and let it take a feminine or masculine form, depending on what is needed. Again, it is more about using your power to clear the way.

My father's message in meditation helped clear the pathway for me, and I have found that finding the humor can be a very simple and quick way to "clear the pathway" for someone else (and yourself). Laughter restores your ability to see something from a different perspective, and that may be all it takes to feel better and alter your train of thought.

I had an experience in the airport recently that reinforced this for me. Usually, the Orlando Airports moves passengers through security in a streamlined and efficient manner because so many travelers visit Disney World every year. One day, that was not the case and the lines were backed up with an estimated wait time of an hour. People were anxious about missing their flights, and you could feel the tension in the air.

Whenever I travel, I remind myself that the Chinese consider water to be the most powerful element in nature because it is completely non-resistant. I decided that I would practice non-resistance and hopefully make my flight on time. I stood in line, breathed deeply and looked for something to amuse myself which the universe quickly provided.

I noticed a guard who had the unenviable job of walking up and down these long lines, repeating over and over "Absolutely no snow globes will make it through security." I am not sure why I thought this was funny, but I started to giggle, and then I couldn't stop. Maybe in addition to my father's Irish temper, I have also inherited his off beat sense of humor. He taught me years ago to find humor in absurdity, and the idea that snowglobes are now a threat to national security struck me as absurd...

Most parents who are flying out of Orlando, are pretty worn down after a week at Disney. They often project an air of desperate exhaustion and clearly just want to get on a plane and fly home. All around me, parents began fishing their snowglobes out of suitcases, and resignedly tossed them into a big black trash bag, while attempting to soothe their children's protests.

As I listened to the plastic globes clinking against one another, as one by one, they were thrown away, I started to laugh even harder. Thankfully the man next to me must have been on the same wavelength because he too started to laugh. I did not want to appear insensitive to other people's irritation, so I tried my very best to stop laughing. That of course, just made things worse...

Then, it was as if the universe shined a spotlight on every absurd thing that was happening around me. The overhead speaker repeatedly blared the announcement that "The security threat had been raised to orange," which no one was even listening to at this point. The man next to me said "Do we even know what that means??"

I honestly have no idea what the whole color scheme means in terms of our national security, but I theorized that perhaps it correlated to the colors of the rainbow? As I mused this out loud to him, he began to list the colors of the rainbow red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. I wondered if it would ever be violet since that is such a pretty color, and then we both erupted into laughter which spread down the line...

No matter what I tried to do, I could not stop laughing, and neither could this man. Since "Security is no laughing matter" and I didn't want my bag searched, I decided we should separate from each other and stand in different lines. It was a good idea, but it didn't work. Agitation was growing in the line because there seemed to be no clear reason as to why security was taking so long, and people had already missed flights. Everywhere I turned in an effort to sober up, the universe shined a spotlight on something more ridiculous.

A few feet in front of me was "Mr. I'm so important that I have to talk very loudly on my cellphone." He had not bothered to take off his belt and shoes, or remove his laptop from his bag, so now he was delaying people even more. This man remained completely oblivious to the outrage being directed towards him, and continued to talk away on his cellphone.

I started to giggle again and desperately tried to distract myself. I helped a harried mother take off her three children's shoes and then remove their Mickey Mouse ears which of course, made them scream. Then, I noticed a guard wanding a older woman who was bent over in her wheelchair, and needed obvious assistance. This guard tried to take off her shoes without untying them, which can hurt, so I had to intervene there too. Then, I heard a woman shrieking in a desperate attempt to retrieve her "400.00" moisturizer which was confiscated because it wasn't in a three ounce bottle. She was begging to at least have one ounce back....

Somehow I made it through security with a straight face and neither me or my bag was searched. As I waited for my train to arrive ( still hoping I would get to my gate in time) I ran into the man I shared a funny moment in time with. We laughed again at the inane things we do as humans, in an effort to control someone else's behavior in order to keep ourselves safe.

As we parted ways and boarded different trains, my fellow traveler called after me and used what I thought was an interesting choice of words. "Thank you! " he said. "You "cleared the way" for the rest of my day..."

I did make my flight that day and I hope that man did too. As I was boarding my plane, I thought to myself, " Some days you are A Knight, and some days you are The Queen!" How that manifests itself isn't all that important. What matters is that you "clear the way" for someone else, and help him or her head in a better direction. Then, the rest of the journey is entirely up to them.

Full Circle!

I absolutely believe that your own life experience is the best teacher you will ever have. The only way you ever learn how to do anything is to do it! Then, you have to practice and the more you practice the more skilled you will become. I grew up being told, "Practice makes perfect," and somewhere along the way, I think we got way too caught up with the perfect part.

It is easy to get focused on the perfection of something you want, and not even realize you are focused on the lack of it and are therefore, keeping it from your experience. I also think that our American culture has become so obsessed with the ever-elusive state of perfection, that we have lost our ability to savor the moment and appreciate what we do have.

Certainly that is the impression that many other cultures have about us. I have lived in Europe and had many conversations in which I was asked the following questions about Americans. Why are we so driven, materialistic and greedy? How have we lost sight of what the rest of what life has to offer? Why are we so arrogant about what think is right and moral?

In our defense, I observe great love and compassion for one another in our culture, and I think Americans are quite generous. I also don't believe it is bad to have "materialistic" desires. In fact, I think one of the reasons we are so out of alignment is that we have attempted to separate our "material" desires from our "spiritual" desires (which is impossible to do).

It doesn't matter if you want to buy an expensive car or fund a program that feeds the homeless, at the end of the day, both of those desires are "material" desires. Our powers of manifestation are rooted in our alignment and attunement with the Divine. There are consequences to trying to separate the two... You can see evidence of this in what we are presently experiencing in our economic markets.

Another thing I would say in answer to those questions, is that our American culture has forgotten (or perhaps has yet to learn) that life is a series of moments. That is one thing my observation of nature has taught me. Everything in life comes "full circle." The journey that is your life is simply a series of moments in time.

Some are triumphant and some are full of despair, but either way, every moment leads to another moment in time. Ultimately, It is the gold that you mine from each one of these moments, that gives your life meaning and purpose and teaches you what you value. Learning how to do this is where the need to "practice" comes in.

At this point in my life, I take great comfort in knowing that everything comes full circle. If I don't learn something the first time it comes around, I still have endless opportunities to learn it again. That is just part of the Divine Design and our eternal nature. Accepting this has taught me how to see that everything we experience has the potential to help us grow and expand our capacity to love and feel joy.

In my opinion, that is why we are here; to learn to perceive the presence of the Divine in everything we experience, no matter how "material" or challenging that may be. Once you start to do that, you become less attached to the outcome. The process is always the same.

My efforts to practice this have taught me what I personally value in my life. There is nothing more important to me than my relationship with the Divine and seeking to bring that love, light, and beauty into everything I experience. (Easy to say, hard to do). Along the way, I want to have a sense of humor, be authentic, integral, kind and compassionate, as well as honor my desire for freedom, simplicity and just "being." I have also learned the value of asking for help, learning to receive, taking pleasure in the moment, respecting the wisdom of life experience and expressing gratitude.

While I have read many books and had many teachers who expressed these ideas, the only way I came to hold these values for myself was through my own life experience. It has been a process that has happened moment my moment. As a writer, this is hard to admit, but I don't think words teach you much at all. They may inspire you, but ultimately, it is your willingness to practice applying these ideas that determines the results you get.

Sometimes, it takes a while before you come full circle and arrive at what you think you want. Here is the challenge. You can't get too caught in the "results." In our American culture that values the bottom line, that is easier said than done. It doesn't happen overnight, (or with a 30 day guarantee!).

In the last few months, I have experienced many of these full circle moments. Some of them were funny. Some of them were sad. All of them let me see very clearly what my own life experience has taught me to value and believe.

The beginning of one of my full circle moments actually occurred many years ago, when I lived in a different state and had a completely different life from the one I live today. At that time, I decided to be a vegetarian. I didn't eat properly and my blood sugar and hormones got out of balance, and I gained weight. I chose to go to a Doctor of Chinese Medicine to help get my body back into alignment.

When I went to Dr. Wu, he took my pulse and examined me. Then, he said very cheerfully in his broken English, "Pretty American girl have hormone problem because she FAT!!...Eat more carrot!!!" Now, the American girl in me didn't exactly appreciate that. I wanted to argue that technically I wasn't FAT, I had just gained weight! I didn't though. I listened quietly, took my medicine, and started to eat meat again. [I also ate "more carrot."]

In the last year and a half, I have lost more and more weight. In fact, the more I lighten up, the more weight I seem to lose. Last week, the outfit I was wearing fell off of me, and I realized it was time to take some clothes back to the tailor. I have been doing this every few months for the last year or so, and now my tailor and I are old friends.

As I gathered up a few more pieces to be altered, I thought about the full circle moment I had at while at his shop. He laughs whenever he sees me, and on a recent occasion he said to me very cheerfully in his broken English, "Pretty American Girl keep losing weight!..... She eat too many carrot!!"

Of course, that made me laugh, and I appreciated it for many reasons beyond the obvious. What made me smile even more was recognizing that while it was nice to hear that I am losing weight instead of gaining it, what truly mattered to me was the journey I have taken in between those two moments in time.

I don't think weight has much to do with what you eat. It has to do with why you are eating. I think extra weight is a reflection of unexpressed emotion and unmet needs that are weighing you down. Weight is often an excuse you use to wait and do something (or not do something).

When you learn to fulfill your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs and develop a relationship with yourself, you will no longer need food as a way of filling the void inside of you. That was certainly the case for me. Even though I wanted to get "results" much more instantaneously, it has been a journey of millions of moments in time.

Every spiritual tradition has some version of the expression " Life is a journey, not a destination." Yet, in America we tend to say "Yes, Yes, Life is a journey, but let's hurry up and get it over with, so that we can have what we want.... and then be happy!" Part of that American tendency is a result of not understanding that you can't separate a spiritual desire from a material desire. The spiritual creates the material. You can't be happy and achieve what you truly want without honoring your soul or "spirit," and that is a process that occurs inside of you, not outside of you.

A client of mine told me a funny (and sad) story that further illustrated this challenge we face as Americans. Her husband was a top executive in a big corporation and whenever my client would come home from work, he would ask her "How was your day?" She would start to answer him and after about three sentences, her husband would impatiently interrupt her and say "I don't have time for all these details. What's the bottom line? That is all we need to know in Corporate America... Net! Net! Net!"

We both laughed at her story and yet I think it underlies a much deeper question we need to ask ourselves. Why don't we have "time for the details?" What are we doing that is so much more important? When you focus only on the bottom line, you leave out many important details that create that bottom line. All you have to do is look at what is happening in the financial sector of America to see evidence of that. How you achieve the results you call "the bottom line" has an impact on you and the world around you.

I believe that small details do matter and I see evidence of this every day. A few hours each week, I provide respite care for families who are caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's. I take their loved one out for lunch or we do something like go to the park. The goal is to provide assistance and relief for the caregiver, and companionship for their family member.

I really enjoy the few hours I spend doing this and it seems that my professional life has come "full circle" too. My first two jobs as a social worker were working with adolescent boys in a treatment center and then in a nursing home which had an Alzheimer's unit. Today, I am writing a series of books for adolescent girls, and once again working with families who are dealing with the challenges of Alzheimer's.

Last week, I took one of my new friends for a walk in the park and we stopped to watch a butterfly land on a rose bush. That made me think of "the butterfly effect" which a scientist discovered while analyzing some data to predict weather patterns, and realized that something was missing from "the bottom line." Something as gentle as the movement of a butterfly's wings can effect weather patterns all over the world.

I was telling a friend of mine this and she made an interesting observation. She said to me "It makes sense to me that your life has taken you on this path. You are really good with the beginning and the end" (of life). I thought about this and decided what I am probably "good at" is just "being." Both children and older adults are good at that too. In both age groups, it is acceptable to just be. You don't have to justify who you are by what you are doing and producing.

There is also great deal of unconditional love associated with Alzheimer's. It requires a willingness to communicate and connect with another person's soul in whatever manner you can. You learn to allow someone to have their own unique perspective without any effort to challenge it. Most times you simply have to be companionable and realize that regardless of someone's mental capabilities, you can always connect soul to soul.

It can be exhausting and draining, or exquisitely beautiful. Even if someone asks the same question twenty times in a row, each moment is a different moment in time. If you enjoy each moment, it has the potential to be a different experience, and become one that can expand your ability to love and appreciate this person even more.

I have become very fond of one of the women I have befriended doing this. She is one of the kindest souls who has ever walked this planet. Sometimes she says and does things that move me to tears. One of the things we do together is go to a healing mass which is held at her church on Tuesday evenings. The first time I went with her I was a bit nervous. I didn't know what to expect because some churches can be quite dogmatic and extreme.

Every time we leave this church, I am aware that this experience has been far more healing for me than it probably has been for my now dear friend. Sadly, up until now, I had never experienced the presence of Divine Love so purely in a church (except for a few cathedrals in Europe that didn't have any people in them).

At each service there is time for quiet prayer and meditation. People who need healing in any area of their life raise their hand and someone will come and pray over them. One evening, I was overcome by the beauty and love I felt in this church and was moved to tears. I quickly tried to dry my eyes because I did not want to upset or confuse my friend. I was there to support her, not the other way around. I will never forget this moment in time.

My friend reached over, placed both her arms around me and then said with perfect clarity and grace, the most loving, comforting prayer that I have ever heard. It made me cry even harder when I realized how pure her heart was. Her desire to connect and love was what was dominant in her reality, no matter what form that took. That is what I have come to believe about all of humanity, we want to love.

Despite our fear and dark moments, our essential nature is one of love and goodness. Our task is to connect with that place inside of us in every moment in time. I had to face great pain and suffering at a very early age. My life experience required that I learn how to do this whether I wanted to or not. If there is anything I am "good" at, it is learning to forgive horrific acts, soothe people, and seek the light in the darkest of moments. I now can see these "skills" (for lack of a better word) are my greatest gift, but they are the "result" of my deepest pain and sorrow.

How I arrived at that "result" is of great value to me, although I know those skills don't translate very well into "the bottom line" of Corporate America. Even so, there is still nothing more important to me than doing my best to see the world through the eyes of the Divine. I can't say I am all that "good" at it actually, but I have had many opportunities to practice, so I am getting better at it!

I don't think I will ever forget one of those opportunities. It happened about ten years ago, when a publisher gave me what he called "the bottom line" about my writing. He said to me "You are a good writer, but in America, this "peace, love and harmony stuff" only sells as the result of two things. You either made it big in Corporate America and have millions in the bank, or you have overcome enormous pain and adversity. America loves that!"

I have had enough rejection in my life to know that just because someone thinks something, doesn't mean it is necessarily true. I knew this was a moment in time where I had to appreciate this man for teaching me to believe in myself no matter what. It was also one of many moments in time where I questioned if I fit in with American values.

I have faced more adversity than most people I know, but I didn't bother to waste my time saying that to this man. I knew with his belief system he had no ability to assist me anyway. Later that very same day, in one of life's ironic twists of fate, I got my monthly statement from my broker. I read the summary and saw that my assets had made me a millionaire that month. I had a "million in the bank," and had "overcome enormous suffering and adversity," so I met this publisher's criteria for a writer whose work would sell.

That was the beginning of another "full circle" moment for me. It inspired me to start writing what eventually became my first book The Energy of Success. My life experience had already taught me that success could not be defined by material comfort and security alone. It is wonderful to have that, but success for me was now having the courage to be authentic about who I am, regardless of whether or not anyone has any value for it.

Today my idea of success has evolved again. It has become the process of being integral and honoring what my soul values, which is writing, and adding to the love and beauty in the world however I can. I write every day because that is what my soul wants to do...

As Americans we are fortunate to grow up with the freedom to think and express ourselves in whatever manner we choose. Ironically, part of the reason I never really fit into Corporate America, is that my sense of freedom has always been a predominant value for me. My first summer job in high school was working for a huge corporation that had just moved into a new building. In that process, one million patents had fallen off the moving truck. My job was to sit in a room all day and put them back into numerical order.

That job was a good experience for me. It taught me that I enjoyed creating order out of chaos and that I was good at it! I also learned what an excruciatingly boring experience it was to be cooped up like that for eight hours a day. I realized at an early age that I could never work for a corporation like that, because I valued freedom too much. This love of freedom is how I ended up living in Europe. While living there, I was amazed to discover that I felt completely at home. I "fit in," for the first time in my life.

When I returned home to the states, I promised myself that someday I would live in Europe again (at least part time). Last month I decided it is time for me to honor that promise I made to myself. That decision led to another full circle moment for me, because I started to think about what my experiences living and traveling in Europe had taught me.

I lived in England the year that Nelson Mandela was freed from prison. That was also the same year that The Berlin Wall fell. Both of those experiences had a profound effect on me. Not only did they deeply inspire me, but they also served as a metaphor for my own life. I knew my task was to emerge from the prison of fear that held me captive from my childhood. I also had to knock down the walls inside of me that I had built to protect me from pain the outside world could inflict.

What I sensed even then, was that these two powerful events were the result of many moments in time. While it might seem that Nelson Mandela's release from prison was a historic event, it was the moments that led up to his release that were the real story.

That is true about every situation you encounter in your life, whether it is good or bad, successful or unsuccessful. It is one moment in time that will lead to another. What matters is what you learn from it and use what you have learned to make future moments have more value.

One of the best parts about living in Europe was being able to travel every weekend. What struck me about Europe was its sense of history. America by the nature of its youth, doesn't have thousands of years of history. We haven't had a hundred year war, or had our country invaded by a brutal dictator who stripped us of our freedom. (Despite what some people think about our country!) This taught me to value the wisdom of the ages.

Many European countries think Americans are arrogant. I don't think this is true, but we don't have much life experience as a nation. As I observe what is happening in our country today, I am reminded of the adolescent boys I used to work with. As most thirteen years old do, they thought they knew everything. These boys wanted instant gratification and used faulty logic like the end justifies the means.

They also thought they were too smart and too tough to be required to face the consequences of their actions. Many of them carried knives or guns and thought that was what made them powerful. They hadn't lived enough to learn otherwise. I think the collective consciousness of our country is just young. We don't have the wisdom of the ages to draw upon. In many ways, we swagger around like thirteen year old boys. I think that right now we are learning some powerful and necessary lessons about where our true power comes from.

My experience of living in Europe also taught me to value simplicity, and taking pleasure in the moment. I have always been someone who wants what I want, the way I want it. I am an American after all! However, today I value simplicity. I don't need all of the things that most people choose to focus their attention on.

Observing the way French women dress helped me see the beauty in simplicity. They may have five pieces of clothing that they wear. Their elegance is a consequence of valuing small details, like the way something is cut, stitched or draped. Their appreciation of those details is why they radiate a grace and poise we admire.

The French also take great pleasure in preparing and eating their food. I enjoyed going to the store every few days to buy groceries. Every purchase was about what would fuel me and bring me pleasure. That is now something I have come to personally value. Most Europeans don't have the huge refrigerators and freezers that we do to stock up and buy in bulk. They value taking time to slow down, nourish their bodies and connect with one another. They are puzzled by our need to"get back to work" and justify our lives by productivity and the bottom line.

I remember the first time I went to the grocery store in the states after living in Europe. I was completely overwhelmed. I stood staring at the yogurt in the dairy section thinking to myself "Do we really need twenty different kinds of yogurt to choose from?" Years later, I find myself valuing simplicity more and more. It is wonderful to have choices, and I think you should have what you want. I just think that we get bogged down with all of the choices we have today that vie for our attention.

That is often why we don't have "time for details," and only value "the bottom line." If our quest was to focus on that which bring us joy and pleasure, there would be a lot less things that would require our attention. Again, it all depends on what your life experience has taught you to value.

I have always thought it is rather insane that we need to eat to survive and yet in America, we don't have time so eat or shop. Instead we have instant, frozen, and fast food, which has no ability to fuel or sustain us. What are we so busy doing that we don't have time to eat???? I think it is no coincidence that we are becoming an obese nation at the same time we are on the verge of bankruptcy. Both are indicative of not being able to fuel ourselves and our inability to meet our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs.

I hope this doesn't sound like an indictment on our culture, because I have a great love and appreciation for America. I just am deeply saddened by the suffering in our country and the despair that so many people feel about our future. I know that many people are hopeful that that our upcoming elections will bring about positive change. I sincerely hope that is true. However, what my life experience has taught me, is that true sustainable change comes from within.

That requires an acceptance that life is a series of moments in time and in any moment in time you have a choice on what you focus on. You can choose to find the goodness and potential for growth and joy, or allow yourself to get sucked into a tide of pain and negativity, (Which, by the way all of us do from time to time, no matter how long we have been practicing this).

I am planning my next trip to Europe and that led me to another full circle moment. I was aware that my passport was about to expire and I meant to renew it before that happened. I didn't get to it in time, so that means I have to turn my old passport in with my application for a new one. As I looked at the picture on my passport I was glad I had let it expire.

Ten years ago I was very blond, thin and rich (which are popular American values). At the time, I thought I looked pretty fabulous. Today, as I looked at that picture on my passport, I found myself wondering "WHAT was I thinking????" I had let my beauty be completely defined by what someone else thinks is beautiful.

My satisfaction with letting go of my old passport had nothing to do with that picture. I realized this when I saw a picture of myself from a year ago and I still barely recognized myself. Yes, I have lost weight, my hair is long and I look different, but it was much deeper than that. I could see that I am a completely different person both inside and out:):)

We use our passports as "identification." They are powerful documents that represent our identity and keep a record of our life's journey. I liked the metaphor of getting a new passport that reflects who I have become today. It also gives me passage to new travels and adventures which have yet to unfold. I decided that getting a new passport with a new picture is a symbol of my transformation.

The key to my transformation was developing the willingness to allow many parts of me and my life to die off. Then I could give birth to new parts of myself and become who I am today. That was not an easy task. I had to express painful emotions that had been "weighing" me down for years, and then experience many devastating losses.

Learning to see the good and beauty in that process has been a journey that happened moment by moment. I had to make peace with not being able to achieve what I wanted, despite my best efforts. Sometimes "practice doesn't make perfect." It just makes you realize that you need to keep practicing.

I discovered that real freedom didn't come from external conditions like where I worked, lived or spent my time. It came from allowing myself to accept that my soul has its own desires. Apparently, my soul wanted me to experience the freedom of true unconditional love. For most of my life, love had meant taking care of people, and putting other people's needs ahead of my own. There is nothing more disempowering than that, and it will eventually drain you of every resource that you have. That certainly isn't how I define love today, but I had to learn the hard way.

I was like those thirteen-year-old boys I worked with, who thought they knew everything. I was confident in my ability to practice what I preach. I thought I had figured out how things work, and was sure of my ability to manifest whatever I wanted.

Sometimes all the knowledge and faith you think you have will fail you. That happened to me. Every single thing I thought I knew and believed in, failed me. Through a series of events, I found myself completely incapable of doing what I had spent more than half my life practicing.

I lost my security, my beautiful home and my easy life. I had to live in a house and neighborhood that I didn't want to live in, lost my clients and eventually all my assets too. Even so, I still had my faith...

Years earlier, I had already learned that I could recover from the government failing me, western medicine and my health failing me, my church failing me, my family failing me, and my boyfriend and friends failing me. I am pretty resilient and have learned to pick myself up and go on.

I figured I would just use what I knew and build my life back again. That is when I experienced true freedom. I failed royally. No matter what I did, I could not seem to make things better. I had defeat after defeat, and loss after loss. I did everything I was taught to do. I was brave, courageous, believed in myself, practiced being grateful, meditated, prayed and lived in as integral and authentic manner as I could. Despite my best efforts, nothing seemed to work. In fact things got worse.

Then, I had to realize that it was time for yet another new definition of success. It had to be accepting myself in all of my failures and shortcomings, and being willing to admit them, regardless of what anyone else thought or felt. I had to discover the true nature of my power, which is to learn unconditional love. It is easy to love yourself when you are doing your best and things are going your way. It feels impossible when every external condition is not where you want it.

When you know what I know about energy and the power inside of us, and when you have spent your life teaching people about it, it is beyond humiliating and humbling when you can't seem to use this knowledge to help yourself. Admitting that and then asking for help from the people I most admired, was not an easy task. I wanted them to think of me as successful in all of this. I did it though.

That taught me that my soul is a powerful force to be reckoned with and it had something for me to learn. What my soul desires, it will achieve regardless of what I think or feel about it. That is why you can never separate the material from the spiritual. My greatest pain was refusing to go where my soul wanted me to go. My soul wanted me to accept that everything in my life could be a total disaster, I could fail at everything I thought I was good at and ever wanted to do, and I still deserved love. I was still a good and worthy human being who deserved kindness, love and compassion.

I had read many books that said that, and I had many teachers who told me that, but I had to learn it for myself through my own experience. I am my soul. You are your soul. Nothing else really matters. I learned that from the depths of my being. The frequency of your soul has far greater power of influence than any desire you can use your thoughts and emotions to create. Your soul is a spark of the Divine, with the ultimate creative power. Your soul will always win. That means that love will always win...

In the middle of those dark nights of the soul, I also had many moments of peace and laughter. I frequently thought about something one of my teachers Nancy Rosanoff, had said to me years earlier. I was feeling felt stuck in the creative process and had asked for her help. She said, "Amy, Do you know what your problem is?" ( It is never good when someone says that!) She answered by saying, "You just don't want to get your hands dirty..." I remember wrinkling up my nose and feeling somewhat puzzled by this.

At that point in my life I was happy to hire someone to do just about everything for me. I liked sitting on my throne, smiling benevolently, having lovely parties, and enjoying a beautiful, peaceful life with pretty things. Why on earth would I want to get my hands dirty? I wondered.

Eventually I learned what she meant. Giving birth is messy. There is a lot of pain and contractions which eventually push new life into being. I sure learned that! One of the ways I learned it was spending many hours in my garden, digging new flower beds and filling them with new life.

Whenever I finished working in the garden and realized that I was covered in dirt from head to toe, I would think to myself, "If only Nancy could see me now!" I learned to get my hands dirty in the garden, and also in life. I also learned to laugh at myself and from that, discovered great power in my pain. What could be more powerful than the force that births new life?

I had one more funny full circle moment that confirmed this for me. My best friend is on a campaign to "set me up" with someone. She lives in Maine and is a nurse anesthetist, which means she spends eighty percent of her time in the operating room. I would love to move to Maine, but I don't think I will end up there... I also have zero desire to date anyone in the medical profession. So, I have to admit, I am skeptical about her plans. I have however agreed to meet her "candidates," when I go visit her this fall.

I had a conversation with her about this, which made me see just how far I have come in this process of transformation! My thought has been to just be as happy and fulfilled as I can be, and then attract someone who is also in that place himself. I did however feel the need to remind my best friend that I am drawn to men who are older than me (maybe ten or fifteen years older). I have this silly idea that by that age, they have learned to meet their own needs and are past "the proving themselves" stage. (As if age has anything to do with that!)

She reminded me that last winter, I had several older men ask me out, and to be careful what you wish for. That is true! One of them was much older ( seventy-five years old!!!!) That horrified me, and I was wondering what I was emitting to attract him into my experience. Was he looking for a future nursemaid? That's when I realized I hadn't quite cleaned up my caretaker energy...

However, I guess I'm coming full circle again. Last week, I had someone who is twenty-five years old ask me out too, and that equally surprised me! I feel like Goldie Locks and the Three Bears' porridge that was either too hot, or too cold. I guess halfway between twenty-five and seventy- five years-old will be just right!

I was laughing at all of this when I felt inspired to go through my treasure box of keepsakes. Letting go of my passport was so liberating that I wanted to see what else I could let go of. I came across a picture of me in my third grade classroom. Since I hated third grade, I couldn't imagine why I had kept that picture. That's when I realized that as much as I think I have changed, some parts of me are still the same!

When I was in third grade, I had quite a crush on a boy in my class, whose name was Bumper Banker. Bumper had buck teeth and wore thick coke bottle eyeglasses with black frames. He also had a cowlick that made his hair stick straight up in the front. I realized that I had kept that picture because he was in it. I must have been eight-years-old when I first thought Bumper Banker was the cutest boy ever. Looking at his picture thirty-one years later, I still do!

That's when I realized what all of my full circle moments have taught me. Despite the cruelty, pain and alienation that we may experience in life... and no matter what we look like... or how we behave at any and every age... No matter what we think we know, or don't know....we are here to love ourselves, and one another.

With all due respect to Corporate America, I think that is the bottom line....Love! Love! Love!

Soul On Deck....

I had a lot to accomplish yesterday, and all day long, wherever I went, I felt in complete harmony with the Universe. Parking spots availed themselves to me, doors were opened and everything went my way. I felt deeply appreciative and was aware that any need I have is always supplied.

That inspired me to think about some of the miracles that have happened to me in the last three years. Some of them didn't seem like miracles at the time. In fact, I did not always like or appreciate how my need was supplied... I navigated through completely uncharted waters, often feeling completely overwhelmed. There were long days where I could barely see in front of me. Then, a light would appear that I felt compelled to follow. Usually, it was the light from someone else's soul faithfully shining down upon me. Day by day, and sometimes hour by hour, I learned how to have more faith.

Recovering from Hurricane Katrina, then moving to a new state and rebuilding my life, then learning how to be single after eight years of being with someone, and then, having to rebuild my life yet again, was not exactly smooth sailing. In my state of pure appreciation and wellbeing yesterday, I could look back and clearly see just how loved and guided I was every step of the way. When you are in the middle of something that feels overwhelming, that is often the challenge. It isn't always easy to see or feel that you are loved by the Universe or that guidance is even available or accurate.

Whenever I asked for guidance and tried to figure out how to do it all, the answer I consistently received was "Your only job is to write and BE LOVE." Many days that message made me want to scream, but yesterday, I could see how I did just that. Other people, who were also "being love," made their way into my experience and helped me along. Despite moments of darkness, I had many moments of love, beauty, peace, humor, hope, inspiration, triumph and even joy. Thinking about that filled me with compassion for all the people who are suffering today, particularly those facing economic stress and challenges.

I felt sincere appreciation for everything I faced because it has given me the ability to help other people navigate through these waters. It isn't like I hadn't already faced incredible challenges in my life... Somehow though, the past few years have seemed harder then the rest. They required blind faith and trust when there was absolutely no proof or evidence that I was even on "the right path," other than it felt right. That is how you build faith in yourself and in the benevolence of the universe. It happens when you have no other choice!

It is easy to get discouraged when you are applying universal principles of energy to your life, particularly when "experts" tell you how easy and joyous it is to do. I will agree that the process is indeed simple and it will bring you moments of pure joy and bliss. Doing it however, is not so easy! It takes practice and a willingness to begin again when you find yourself facing a challenge that you know you have created (despite knowing the rules of the kingdom). It has to become a way of life that you are willing to embrace for the long haul, and not a quick fix. Eventually if you practice long enough, you will build a momentum that will carry you.

It may help to think about the millions of people who have been exposed to The Law of Attraction in the past few years. If it were all that easy to apply universal principles of energy to your life, then I think you would see a lot more happy and enlightened millionaires running around by now. That is not what most people are talking about. The focus is on how many people are in desperate situations and facing financial ruin. I know first hand what that fear feels like....

There is a very important principle to remember if you are applying The Law of Attraction to your life. Everything exists in relationship to its opposite. The darkness in your life is what creates a desire for more light. You need periods of darkness, which challenge you to grow and expand, because that is what creates the potential for more light in the world. Life isn't always going to be smooth sailing. You have to learn how to navigate your vessel.

I hated sailing as a child because no one ever warned me when we going to "come about." I often got whacked in the head by the heavy metal pole holding up the sail (I forget what it is called). My father thought that was the best way for us to learn to pay attention... I certainly didn't agree... but maybe on some level that was good training for me, and prepared me for what was to come. Either way, I had to learn that no one is going to navigate the seas of life for you. There will always be sources of light that show up to guide you, but you have to become the captain of your own ship.

Regardless of what you experience in life, it is the potential for growth and transformation that resides within an experience, that keeps the entire universe eternally expanding. If you want those moments of pure love, joy and ecstasy, you have to be willing to go through the process that creates them. That doesn't mean your life has to be awful, it just means that when you are faced with an experience that feels awful, you use it in a way that benefits you and the world around you (Hopefully, you don't get whacked in the head too many times, before you learn how to do this! )

Yesterday, I thought back on the five things I did every day to help myself (and still do). I meditated, exercised, drank water, wrote and most importantly, I did not watch TV. In fact, one day I realized that I had not turned the television on in over a year, and I gave away all of the TV's in my house... I don't think there has ever been a more important time to learn to think for yourself and pay attention to what you are creating in the world today. There are good things to watch on TV and I'm not saying that I will live the rest of my life without a television. For the most part though, television is like clutter. It weighs you down, drains your energy, and prevents you from emptying your mind so that you can open up to what is available to you.

Normally, I would say that if you do nothing else, learn to meditate so that you can use your mind to sustain your soul and connect with the Divine. It is the very first thing I do when I get out bed in the morning. To me, meditating is absolutely essential. Yet, as strange as this may sound, I actually think that not watching TV, was the most essential thing I did to help myself navigate through these past few years. You cannot turn on the TV today without being bombarded with fear. Even when you just flip through the channels, you are inundated with negative energy in a matter of seconds. I am always amazed by what I pick up simply listening to the radio for a few minutes at a time. Some weeks I didn't even do that.

I am not suggesting that it is a good idea to bury your head in the sand and not deal with your life, or the world around you... Although, I love the beach and if burying your head in the sand brings you joy, then I am suggesting that you do that! I also believe that it is important to have compassion for other people's pain and suffering and do what you can to help them. The only way you can do that though, is to first fill your own cup and then allow it to overflow to others.

When you try to control external conditions and "guard against" watching or hearing negative things, you have lost your power, and you will pull these things right to you. You will then feel drained and depleted. Once this occurs, you tend to add more fear and negative energy into the world. You just have to remember that anything you focus on, you are in resonance with. I am mindful of that and have become very picky about what I tune into.

I am also extraordinarily sensitive. Whatever you see, hear and feel when you turn on your TV, permeates many levels of your being. It effects you whether you realize it immediately or not. I honestly don't think I could have navigated through the storms of my life with the faith and grace that I have, if I had watched TV. Television can be comforting when you feel lonely, afraid or just want to escape, but it can also saturate you with the energy of anger and fear. Nothing will immobilize you faster than the energy of fear, especially in times like these. If you are already feeling fearful or worried about the economy and your future, watching TV will only exacerbate that.

Psychologists estimate that it takes about three weeks to break a habit or sustain a new pattern of behavior. Ideally, if you didn't watch TV for 21 days, you could break yourself from this habit. If you are aghast at such an idea and think it would be impossible to do, just try it for 3 days. If you are able to do that, try not watching television for one week. That is only seven days. The world will not end if you miss 7 days of TV. You can use your DVR to record what you want to watch, if you are that worried about missing it. If you absolutely must know what is going on all over the world, you can always use the internet.

You will be amazed at the power that is restored to you, when you stop giving your energy to what other people want you to focus on. You can use that power to generate the energy you need to run your life the way you want it to be, regardless of what the economy is doing, or forecasters are predicting. It is the only way I could have built the momentum that is necessary to create positive and lasting change.

I was reflecting on all of this yesterday, when I pulled into a perfect parking spot that seemed to be waiting just for me, and it was! I got out of my car and as usual, a license plate caught my attention. (I absolutely swear that I am not making this up... ) This license plate said BE LOVE. That synchronicity brought tears to my eyes and I walked over to look at it for a second. Then, I read the three bumper stickers that were on this same car. The first one said "Offer Kindness. " The second said, "Feed One Another." The third bumper sticker said, " Anything That Can Go Well, Will...." I stood there thinking to myself " Has my life become so schmalzy that everything I believe in can be reduced to one license plate and three bumper stickers?" Apparently, it has...

Last night, it continued. I was looking for something on my computer, and a quote by Clarissa Pinkola Estes caught my attention. She has a far more elegant and profound way of saying what that license plate and bumper stickers reminded me of. As I read what she wrote, I felt further appreciation for all the "souls on deck" who have "shined like gold" in dark times for me. One of the "those souls" sent me this quote on a day when I was sinking in waves of fear and self doubt. It was a source of light that penetrated through the fog of my despair and inspired me to keep going.

If you or someone you know, is navigating through stormy seas right now, you may be looking for a light to guide you, or a way to be the light that guides another. Perhaps this passage will do for you what it did for me. If nothing else, I hope it reminds you that you were made for this...

You Were Made For This...
( Clarissa Pinkola Estes )

"Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts, or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take everyone on Earth to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these -- to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. [...] In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for. "

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

What's the Story?

I'm not sure why this happens to me, but lately I have learned some interesting life lessons, while I have been in a public restroom! A few weeks ago, I stopped to use the restroom and I accidentally walked in on a woman who had not locked the door to her stall. Startled, I apologized and said " You must have forgotten to lock your door." (Obviously!).

What transpired next was a bit of a bizarre experience, even for me. This woman launched into a long and complicated story about why she never locks the door when she uses the restroom. It seems that when she was in the third grade, she got stuck in the bathroom. Then, there was a fire drill and she could not get out, and it was a very traumatic experience that she would never forget....

It is not uncommon for complete strangers to tell me their life-story, and when I have the time and energy, I do my best to stop, be kind and listen. Over the years however, I have perfected the art of gently and politely interrupting someone, if I don't have the time, energy or desire, to listen to his or her story. In this case though, I wasn't sure what the protocol was, because this particular story continued while this woman was using the restroom. As it went on and on, I stood there thinking to myself "HOW did I attract this situation into my life?" Finally, she emerged from the stall and I wished her well and then skillfully extracted myself from the conversation.

I was actually amused by the whole encounter, until a few seconds later, when I had another experience that REALLY made me wonder what kind of signals I was emitting. Apparently, another woman in the restroom had also listened to this long story. She turned to me and said in an outraged voice "That was the most ridiculous story I have ever heard!" and then proceeded to slam the restroom door on her way out... I was somewhat surprised by the intensity of her emotion, and stood there thinking to myself, "What an interesting reaction to have to a relatively benign and basically silly experience...."

I believe that whatever I experience in the world outside of me is a reflection of something in the world inside of me. So, while I was waiting in line to get a cup of tea, I thought back on my interaction in the restroom, and wondered what this experience was all about...

I know many people get their answers to life's questions by reading tea leaves or tarot cards. I must admit, that I get most of the answers to my life's questions by reading T-shirts, license plates and bumper stickers. It is actually something that fascinates the people in my life because they are amazed at some of the complex answers I receive. This answer however, was pretty simple and it came almost immediately. All I had to do was read the back of a T-shirt that the man in front of me was wearing. It said in big bold letters WHAT'S THE STORY ?

I laughed because I had just experienced that in the restroom. We all have some story that we carry around with us, which we use to justify our behavior and the life experiences that we have. The woman who "didn't like to lock the door" was as least fifty years old, and yet she was still living out a drama that happened to her when she was in the third grade. I was actually quite sympathetic to her story because it probably was traumatic for a seven-year-old girl to be stuck, and I can see how her fear of locking the door originated.

The only thing that actually bothered me about listening to her story, was not knowing how to respond to it. I mean was I supposed to stand there and listen outside her door, or what? As I read this man's T-shirt, I chuckled at the serendipity of the Universe. Even the other woman's angry response made sense. We all have some story that we tell (or keep hidden and secret), and other people around us have various responses and opinions, which they express one way or another.

Since having this experience in the restroom, I have had several opportunities to observe this phenomenon in action. The stories that we tell, are always the result of the belief systems we have about who we are, and what we are capable of (or not capable of). They usually come from our childhood experiences. Many times, they are simply the belief systems that we inherited from our parents or the people who raised us. Neither one of those women in the restroom were even aware of how one's story and the other's reaction to it, were part of some powerful belief systems that were operating in both their lives.

To me, that is the trick to unlocking the power that is stored inside of you. You have to uncover the unconscious belief systems you have. Your belief systems become the stories that you tell in order to justify where you are in your life and why. Most of my professional life has centered around helping people uncover their belief systems. This process usually requires going back and dealing with childhood memories and issues. Often when I am helping someone through it, I have had the thought "I should write a children's book that helps prevent the next generation from having to go through this." So, that is what I did. I started writing on December 31st and yesterday I finished my rough draft!

Writing this children's story has been an incredibly rewarding process for me both personally and professionally. Along the way, it illuminated some interesting stories that were untold inside of me. As is the case with most things I write, this children's book evolved into something far bigger and longer than I imagined. My original idea was to write a simple story about a little girl that would have appealed to the mind of an eight year old. Over time, I realized the main character needed to be about 13 years old. The process that followed that realization has been one of the most surprising and fulfilling experiences of my life.

The week after I realized that the main character of my book wanted to be older, I went to a movie about a writer. In it he was asked how he wrote his novels. His response was " I don't. I simply follow the characters around." That line spoke to me, because I have heard other writers say that and I have never really understood what they meant by it. Up to that point, my writing had always been academic and the result of my own life experience. I had never written a novel or anything with characters in it. When my children's book morphed into something much more than I had intended to write, I decided I would try what this writer did, and see what would happen.

I have spent the last seven months following the characters around my book. Most of the time it has felt like I was taking dictation, instead of being creative and actually writing. Eventually, I learned how to get out the way, and let these characters express themselves. In some ways, it isn't much different from doing therapy. What is different though, is that I have fallen completely in love with all of my characters, as well as the story they want to tell, and the world in which they live. My book has taken on a "Harry Potter-ish" feel, and I can see that it is the first in a series of four books. (Probably a few more than that).

Every morning when I wake up, one of my first thoughts is "When can I write today?" Now, 314 pages later, I am reading what I wrote in complete fascination. Since I have followed these characters around for so long, I like spending time in their world and some days I would even like to live in it!

If anyone had told me nine months ago that I would write a children's book, I would never have believed it. I have worked with children of all ages and while I loved it, it isn't something I thought I wanted to go back to. Interestingly enough though, my desire has always been to use my success to create and fund alternative schools for children, so why that wouldn't be "working with children" I really couldn't tell you. What I realized from writing this book was that I have been approaching my desire in a somewhat backwards manner. I had listened to the stories people told me about the way to be a successful writer, even though I didn't like or agree with them!

I didn't even realize I was doing that, until I listened to a friend describe how she had finished her second graduate degree, only to realize that after six years of school, she didn't even want to use this degree. She had only gotten it because she wanted to make more money. She was bemoaning this to me, wishing that she had just allowed herself to open up and receive more money, instead of trying to make it happen in such an action oriented way.

Sadly, she felt that she had wasted years of time and money, and wasn't much further along in her goal. I tried to be a good friend and point out all the benefits of what she had learned along the way. I really do believe that no matter how "off-your-path" something may seem, it will serve you well in the future even if you don't see it right away. Deep down though, I had to agree with her... She had just listened to the story that she and most people are told that says The only way to make more money, is to get more education and work harder and blah blah blah....

I got off the phone and suddenly realized that I had done pretty much the same thing! Much like my friend who had spent six years in graduate school, just so she could make more money, I have spent many years listening to the stories people have told me about how to become successful writer. One of these stories that I have made myself listen to goes like this... There is no such thing as "being a writer" anymore. Nowadays, books can't stand alone, you have to have a platform that enables you to sell them. You have to want to be on the speaking circuit.

While this still makes sense to me, and I did write my first book as a tool to help me speak and teach, I have had a lot of resistance to that story. I love speaking and teaching and I actually think I am pretty good at it. That being said, I don't have any desire to identify myself as an "inspirational speaker." I like speaking, but only when I am invited to share what I have learned with people who are interested and can benefit from it.

I also know many "inspirational speakers." You probably wouldn't find them all that inspirational if they revealed on stage, just how hard, exhausting, stressful and lonely that life on the road can be. It takes a toll on your personal life and I don't think I would be able to do it for very long and still keep my well full.

I was also fortunate to learn early on in my social work days, that it can be very flattering and seductive to have so many people listening and looking up to you, and thinking that you have the answers to their problems. There is also a huge responsibility that comes along with that which is not alway easy to shoulder, particularly when you realize that you will never have all the answers to anything!

Yet, I listened to these stories that said in order to do what I really want, (which is create alternative schools for children), I had to use someone else's formula for being a successful writer first. This is why it is so important to do the inner work that is required in order to be able to think for yourself ,and pay attention to how something feels to you (regardless of anyone else's opinion or reaction to it). I have enjoyed writing this children's book more than anything else I have done in the last three years. It took me a while to accept that writing a series of books puts me far closer to creating my schools, than anything else I could do.

Until recently, whenever someone asked me "What do you do?" I said "I'm a social worker." Social work is a profession dedicated to the welfare of individuals, families, groups, organizations and communities and I would say that sums up what I do pretty easily. I realized though that Saying Yes to Your Majesty, means recognizing who you really are on the inside. That means offering the world the gifts you have inside of you that become the creative self expression of your soul. For me, that means saying I am a writer.

I was telling all of this to a friend of mine, who is an artist. He said to me " Amy, Why don't you just accept the fact that you are an artist! " I laughed and said, "No, not really. I am very artistic and creative, but I don't think of myself as an artist." He just shook his head at me and asked "Aren't writers artists?" I tried to explain my way around that one for a while, but he wouldn't accept any of my reasoning. Finally, he gave me a list of reasons why I am an artist. I can't remember all of them, but some of them were funny. They really made me listen to some of the stories I was telling myself! Here is what he said ( in bold type) which is followed by some of my ridiculous responses ( in italics).

You are incredibly creative. You make beautiful treasure boxes that are works of art that you could sell. (True, but I only make them for friends....It is fun to make beautiful things, especially when they are functional too....)

You have your own sense of style, and you could have been an interior designer. (True, I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had been an interior designer... but ultimately, I am more interested in the interior design of someone' s soul, then the interior design of the environment that surrounds him or her... Although, one definitely reflects the other....)

You are incredibly sensitive and intuitive, and you are deeply troubled by human suffering. (True, but isn't everyone?....)

You need beauty, grace and flowers, like most people need air. (True...but that is only because beauty is how I connect with the Divine....There is a Chinese expression that goes something like "If you have only two coins left, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a Lily with the other." That is definitely how I have lived most of my life....)

Your mother is a talented artist. (True, but she only did her art as a hobby, and that is what I do too....)

Your father was an amazing writer and orator, so he was an artist too. (True, but he was an attorney. He would NEVER have said he was an artist, not EVER!....)

Your parties look like something out "The Great Gatsby." (True, but that is just because I love entertaining. Bringing people together and creating a beautiful environment for them to connect in brings me joy....)

You drink your juice in a champagne flute because "it tastes better." ( True, but that is just a fact! Juice just tastes better in a pretty glass...)

You have named your car. Other people actually ask you to name their car for them too. ( True, My car's name is Ben, and he is my trusted steed. Everyone calls him that, even my mechanic...)

You march to your own drummer and NEVER do anything that doesn't "feel right" to you. ( True.... I didn't have anything else to say for that one...)

All the architects and interior designers you worked with in your Feng Shui days were artists. ( True....I didn't have an answer for that either).

Your blogs are way too long. They are supposed to be short and more frequent, so that you can sell books. No one writes anything that long "for free" except an artist. (True....but I DO NOT write my blogs to sell books, I write to "express" myself and I hope it has value to someone else! OK... that does sound like an artist....)

This went on for a little while longer until I finally burst out laughing and said "I get it! I clearly have resistance to being an artist! I guess I have to do some inner work and figure out what my screwy beliefs about this are." My friend said triumphantly "I can tell you what the belief is," I laughed and said "Go ahead, you have earned it after all of this!" He said, "You don't want to say you are an "artist," because you love having money. That is important to you. You want millions to fund your children's schools. You think if you say you are an "artist" you can't have the money you are accustomed to...."I was completely silent because he totally nailed me.

That ridiculous conversation revealed to me many of the stories I had been telling myself. Not only had I been denying a big part of who I am, I was going about creating something very important to me, in a very backward and inefficient manner...So much for being The Queen of Energy and an expert on the process of creation...That is a story in and of itself!

Thankfully, inspiration struck. Alexandra Stoddard, who is one of my favorite interior designers came to mind. She is an artist who had a legendary design studio in Manhattan. She has dedicated her life to creating beauty and grace in the world and teaching others to Love and Live Happy. She has also written many best-selling books which have inspired me to Say Yes to My Majesty. When I thought of her, I felt a state of peace and self acceptance wash over me...I may not have known that I was an artist, but I'm not that far off track after all!

Feeling relieved, I had a final conversation with another friend who helped me to bring all of this together. My good friend Emily is 8 years old, and we actually have a lot in common. Emily was dubbed The Princess at her house, and long ago, I was dubbed The Queen in mine. We like to sit and have a cup of tea, and discuss the challenges of living in a world, that often forgets that we are royalty. My conversations with Emily are where my idea for Tea With The Queen, came from. They are also why I wrote my first children's book.

Emily possesses a purity and beauty inside of her that I hope she is able to maintain. When she arrives at my house, she makes quite an entrance! She charges around each room with an exuberance that I absolutely adore. After she has examined every detail of my decor to see what has changed since her last visit, she then asks a steady stream of questions about why I have moved things around. She has a remarkable attention to detail and often stops in front of a photograph and describes the person in it, with uncanny accuracy. I love listening to her observations and the connections that she makes.

Emily came over last week and after we finished our tea, she wanted to dip into my art supplies and make something ( a fellow artist!). When she finished, we decided to go get some ice cream and ended up having a very funny conversation in my car. Emily, like me, believes that cars have personalities. She likes to stand in front of cars and decide if they smile at her or not. She likes my car Ben and thinks he smiles. ( He does.)

Ben has been my trusted steed, and I have taken meticulous care of him. When I realized that he had 180.000 miles on him, I had his engine rebuilt because his body was still perfect, and I could not bear to part with him. Every once in while, something happens to Ben that reminds me of how old he is ...

Recently, Ben's windshield leaked when it rained and his carpet was soaked with water. It turned out that it was actually the sunroof that was leaking, so despite a few efforts to seal him up, the carpet got soaked several times in the last few weeks.

I forgot to tell Emily about this, and when we got into my car to get ice cream, she said very earnestly "Amy, Ben smells like cat pee! Do you have a cat? " Although part of me was horrified that she thought he smelled that bad, a bigger part of me couldn't stop laughing. Emily was just being her usual observant and inquisitive self. She is very honest, pure and forthright. She hasn't been trained to tell the stories that we adults tell, in order to be polite. She also hasn't learned to squelch who she is in order to please an external authority. Emily's authenticity and sincerity are very endearing.

I said to Emily "I'll have to check the Queen's Handbook, but I am pretty sure that a Queen is supposed to ride around in a golden chariot that smells like roses, not cat pee....I will have to work on this!" She nodded and diplomatically cracked her window. I turned up the air conditioning, and my favorite little Princess and I continued on our way. That is another thing I love about Emily, she is very allowing and accepting. She never said another word about Ben and his carpet issues. (By the way, Ben does NOT smell like cat pee, at least not anymore...)

Emily and I enjoyed the rest of the afternoon and then I dropped her off at home. As I was driving back to my house, I thought about the conversations I had with my three friends. Each one helped me to clarify on a deeper level, who I am and what I want to do in this world. I realized yet again, that you are always growing in your relationship with yourself. Recognizing the limiting beliefs systems that you have about who you are, and what you are capable of is a never-ending process.

Emily inspired me to be authentic which means; to be who I am, do what I want to do, (as an artist) and do it in a way that feels right to me, regardless of what any external authority ( or an angry woman in the restroom) has to say about it.

You also can't get too caught in any label that you give yourself, no matter how true it may seem to be. It doesn't matter if you are a social worker, teacher, artist, writer, or queen. Over time, any label you assign yourself just becomes another story that only tells you how the rest of the world defines you. What really matters is that you find the light, beauty and majesty inside of you and then, at any age, offer that to the world in a way that feels right to you.

Just in case I had any doubts about this, I had another T-shirt confirm it for me. I was once again standing in line to get a cup of tea. A man walked by me, and I read the front of his T-shirt. It said The World is Calling... A few seconds later, he walked by me again, and this time I read the back. It said Answer...

I think that is the most important thing to remember. How you answer what the world is calling you to do, is the most important story you can tell. In fact, it is the kind of life-story that I hope I am always inspired to stop, be kind and listen to. I hope you are too.